


So take this heart, put yourself in it

by Milestogo56 (Pink_boxers_rainbow)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Accidental Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Haruno Sakura is So Done, M/M, Oblivious Hatake Kakashi, Pining, Rimming, Temporary Amnesia, sakura and Naruto are bff, turned a lil kinky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22603681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_boxers_rainbow/pseuds/Milestogo56
Summary: Naruto slipped in love gently, with Kakashi on a monotonous Wednesday afternoon while the wind of the bamboo country blew south. It was as inconspicuous, as it was tender, like the jounin’s battle worn hand on Naruto’s sweaty locks.-----Or1. Kakashi gets amnesia2. He is totally convinced that he and Naruto are dating3. Naruto doesn't exactly...corrects the notion4. Sakura gleefully seeks revenge.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 373
Kudos: 1336





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> I just want to thank everyone who supported me while I wrote this fic. Including Safiyah, who isn't in the fandom but patiently listened to me ramble about Kakashi and gave me pointers. 
> 
> I also divided the first chapter into two parts once I realized it got over 7k words haha. As stated below, this fic is inspired by one of my favorite star trek fic of all time! If you have time then please read the note at the end of this chapter. Updates twice every week!

“What’s today’s date, Kakashi? Tell me in details.”

Naruto blinked still not getting the medical procedure while Tsunade gently pried open the copy-nin’s eyes, asking mundane questions every once in a while. The heart monitor beeped systematically, totally differently than the blonds’ own heart—hammering irritably at the grave expressions on both the Hokage’s and Sakura’s faces.

“It’s February 26th of the lunar year.” Kakashi murmured still a little dazed after gaining consciousness. Naruto nods at the raspy voice of his sensei, relief flooding in his system. He was unconscious, in a state of comatose, for nearly eight hours after being hit by the missing Suna nin with an incomplete sealing jutsu.

Naruto grimaced slightly, remembering how he went after the missing-nin with a single mindedness that never looked good on him—angry and without thinking while Sakura screamed behind him to stop. He did stop, only after he realized that the man he was fighting was a blood clone. In the long run, if there was no immediate danger to Kakashi then he would have gone after the small trail of smoke left behind by the clone. But at that moment with their captain unconscious, who was also the only skilled tracker in the team, they had nothing else to do other than return.

“He seems okay,” Naruto starts, getting back from his thoughts.

Tsunade and Sakura turned their back towards him so he couldn’t exactly gauge their expression but something definitely changed, the room appearing tenser each second. He gulped then tried again: “Um, Is he—”

“Hatake, look at me. Tell me today’s date.”

“February 26th of the Lunar year.” Kakashi said again a little confused and Naruto still doesn’t get what’s wrong. He had never heard the fifth calling Kakashi-sensei by his clan name…until and unless there was something serious going on. He hated being left in the dark and with a frustrated sigh he looked down where he was clutching a key-chain. He bought it last month because the dog attached to the chain looked a lot like Bisuke, which the blond thought was a perfect gift for the elusive Jounin’s birthday—

_Wait a damn minute._

_Today is September 4th!_

At this sudden revelation Naruto looked up, eyes wide and found both the medic experts looking at him.

“But it’s September!” Naruto blurted out.

Tsunade raised her eyebrows, probably wishing for a bottle of sake or two. Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed explosively.

* * *

Naruto slipped in love gently, with Kakashi on a monotonous Wednesday afternoon while the wind of the bamboo country blew south. It was as inconspicuous, as it was tender, like the jounin’s battle worn hand on Naruto’s sweaty locks.

In hindsight (which Naruto was poor at), he should have known this would end poorly.

The bamboo country was surprisingly not _only_ filled with bamboos, but also paddy fields and huge blue lakes. The portly daimyo and her brittle son had greeted them at the gates, bowing before Kakashi as if they were scared. Naruto was curious at such behavior but nodded along remembering what the fifth had drilled into him about diplomatic missions—a mission Naruto was forced to take _just_ after passing his Jounin exams. Kakashi had laughed kind-heartedly at his sullen expression, patting the blond’s back before he exploded in front of Tsunade.

“Being a jounin isn’t always fun and games, Naruto. Sometimes we kick ass, sometimes we lick ass.” The copy-nin said, his eye crinkling at Naruto’s horrified expression.

Atleast, bamboo country was peaceful—notwithstanding the vicious rival gang planning on overthrowing the current leader. After a very tense discussion with the daimyo and his ministers Naruto gathered that the country wasn’t _just_ offering a trade treaty for the sake of comradeship—they were asking for protection in exchange of surplus. Kakashi had interjected several times with questions about the economic conditions, because while flourishing in surplus value the country was still poor.

“Bamboo has the highest death toll in relation to starvation. Any particular reason for that?” He asked, sitting with one leg over the other in a sort of regal way. If Naruto hadn’t known that Kakashi was just an elite shinobi (feared across nations) then he would’ve guessed him to come from a high standing clan, because the energy he gave off right now was dangerous. It made Naruto shiver.

“W…we are looking into it, Hatake-san.” The daimyo’s assistant spoke up. “Perhaps, we can give you a detailed report later. You’re staying here for two days, after all.”

“No _need_ , Kawaki-san.” Kakashi smiled, albeit a little differently. “We already gathered enough information, Ne, Naruto?”

Naruto jerked from his stupor, wishing he was paying more attention to his sensei’s words instead of posture. After all, Tsunade did send him along so he can get a taste of how these dealings went. Shaking his head, he answered. “Yes, I suppose.”

“Good. Master Singhou,” the flaxen-haired jounin now referred to the sweating daimyo—it looks like they were not prepared for Kakashi Hatake. “We would like to take our leave, considering our work here is done. We will be leaving tomorrow at dawn.”

Before anybody could butt in Kakashi stood up, motioning Naruto to follow him outside. Torn between guffawing and admiring his senior—he choked but followed behind swiftly.

“That was…Kakashi-sensei you were _brutal_!” Naruto exclaimed happily once they were sufficiently far enough, walking beside paddy fields in a leisured pace.

“I suppose,” the older Nin just chuckled. Naruto didn’t know if it was the autumn sun beating down on them, or it was the warm chuckle that made him dizzy. However, he didn’t exactly hate the feeling.

“But why are they so…scared of you?” This question was running around the blond’s head for a while. He chewed his bottom lips waiting for his sensei to answer but all he heard him do was release a loud sigh then stop walking.

“Come on, let’s go there.”

With those cryptic words, Kakashi turned towards his left and started trekking up to a small valley. Naruto was visibly confused but didn’t want to interrupt his eccentric comrade, so he followed silently until they reached the top of a hill. The blond looked down and felt a gasp leave him, unknowingly. Below him, in front of the hill, all he could see was 90 acre of sprawling, golden field interrupted sometimes by occasional ponds and lake. He could see children running about, some in the lake and some with their parents (the elders seemed slightly distressed.) It was, due to lack of fanciful words in his vocab, peaceful.

“Kaka-sensei?” Naruto called when he finally plopped down beside the copy-nin. The afternoon sun bathed them into a golden hue and when Naruto looked at Kakashi all he could focus on was the quickly flushing, small ears. It was a weird thing to focus on but Naruto just felt very curious about them.

“The daimyo isn’t scared of me. Well, not exactly.” Kakashi said suddenly, leaving the blond haired young man perplexed again. “It’s my dad.”

“Oh,” Naruto murmured. He knew that it was a sore subject for Kakashi—his father, the infamous white fang. So he kept quiet and waited with baited breath for the copy-nin to continue.

“River country is only a day away from here, you do know that, right?” Kakashi asked after a while. “My dad—the white fang, he was…well. You could say that he was responsible for a massacre in River country.”

The blond nodded solemnly, not exactly believing that Kakashi-sensei’s father was responsible for that—but what did Naruto know? He wasn’t _precisely_ paying much attention to this side of history. Kakashi chuckled a little harshly this time, “They easily forget that Kakashi Hatake and Sakumo Hatake are two very different people, sharing only a name and a bloodline.”

“I think you’re better,” Naruto blurted out, wondering when his brain to mouth filter will start working. “I think you’re-“ 

“Its okay, Naruto.” The older jounin interrupted, he was still not looking at him. Naruto frowned feeling the air between them getting awkward—and it didn’t seat right. All he wanted to do was make Kakashi laugh that warm laughter, the one which makes Naruto feel like he was made out of jelly.

“What about the report?” He tries again. To be perfectly honest, he wasn’t at _all_ interested in going over the reports after travelling for a week straight _and_ then entertaining a bunch of elitist fucks. He was mentally wary, wanting to do nothing but to eat ramen and fall asleep.

The ground didn’t look that inviting but Naruto could manage, he guessed.

“Mhm. What do you think?”

This was something Kakashi started practicing some months ago—asking Naruto’s opinions, whether it was a strategic discourse or some very special recon missions. He started treating the blond as an equal, in their own sanctuary, stepping down from the pedestal of team captain. The younger jounin thought this might another one of those weird tricks Kakashi deployed trying to make him learn a lesson, sort of. Naruto shrugged, he did always learn better through hand-on experiences.

“Well…” he rubbed under his nose trying to find a solution with the information they gathered, which was harder than mastering the damn rasen-shuriken. The ground looked tempting…

“We could just omit, I guess.”

“Omit?” the flaxen-haired jounin parroted back, it felt like he was holding back a chuckle. “I do know that you don’t look up to the council but I am sure they can _guess_ we are leaving out something, or why the daimyo needs protection.”

“Hm, we can make-up something…” the blond laid down then, too tired to even think why it wasn’t a great idea. “Somethin’ like, you know, doesn’t exactly say _who_ the rival gang compromises of.”

Kakashi gave a warm chuckle at that and Naruto felt his inside fluttering, a sudden energy swooshed past his fingers and he could envision himself being strangely... _alive_. However, before he could respond a warm, battle roughed hand sat down on his sweaty forehead very gently—as if Naruto was made out of flowers and butterflies, not demon and slurs. He turned his head towards the long appendage and swallowed thickly.

_He has such nice fingers. I wish he—_

“I was wondering when you were going to suggest that.”

“You know me so well, Kakashi-sensei.” Naruto grinned and was thankful to the gods above that his voice didn’t mimic the timid Hyuga heir at all. The sudden surge of energy, the happiness and literally…everything about the situation made him jump up and stand in front of his superior—hands flanking his hips and a smile stretching on his lips too much to be comfortable. “What am I thinking right now?”

Kakashi glanced at him, his lazy eyes swiping over his body before the corners crinkled(Naruto has never seen his face, except the long straight nose once in the hospital—but he really couldn’t help thinking how ruggedly handsome this man was.), “Maa, you want to swim right now?”

Naruto blinked but his smile didn’t falter. It wasn’t exactly what he was thinking but…it will do. “That’s amazing! Let’s do it!”

He offered Kakashi his right hand, not that he needed help standing but he really wanted to feel those hands on him, _again_. The older jounin stared at out-reached hand with a look that Naruto can’t quite understand—perhaps he shouldn’t have offered? Iruka-sensei did tell him that Kakashi never really liked to be touched unnecessarily…

And then Kakashi reached over and held Naruto’s smaller, sweat slicked palms in his own—for no reason other than Naruto is offering…and then, _that_.

_That feeling._

That’s when he knew, understood and accepted what a slippery slope he gently fell into.

“What if we do it ourselves, the removal?” Naruto is numbly surprised that his voice is not shaking, that his whole body is standing still as a rock and not shivering when the pale calloused palm rubbed against his sensitive fingertips. The older man just shot him a mocking look, but the vague amusement was still lingering in his eye.

By the end of the day Naruto had bathed in a cool blue pond, written an inaccurate report, realized he had an obsession with Kakashi’s hands and is madly, hopelessly in love for the first time.

* * *

Naruto was not ashamed to admit that he wasn’t ever scared—it happened more than once or twice in his whole nineteen years of existence. This panic however, closely resembled the one time when he couldn’t find Kakashi’s chakra and Konoha was in shambles.

“Fix him,” he begs with a soft tilt to his voice.

He is standing ten foot away from the older jounin’s general bed with the fifth and his pink-haired teammate. “With what?” Tsunade asked, “My magic wand?”

“With your medical degree? You fixed Genma-san when he couldn’t remember stuffs.”

“Naruto,” Sakura started. Her voice held almost the same amount of worry as his, “This isn’t just a normal case of amnesia. Kakashi-sensei was hit by an incomplete seal and we don’t know how to break it. We are not that competent with Fuinjutsu.”

“Okay,” Naruto took a deep breath.“What do we do?”

Tsunade shook her head as she drank from the water flask, which surprisingly didn’t smell like water. “We wait. It’s an incomplete seal; it will hopefully fade away in no time.”

They all turned around to look at Kakashi walking towards them, pulling the blue standard-issued shirt down his abdomen. He looked fit as a horse.

“Sensei, do you know who I am?” Naruto asked tentatively.

The flaxen-haired jounin raised one of his perfectly sculpted eyebrows while Sakura elbowed him, harshly. “He’s only missing a couple of months, Naruto.”

“Hokage-sama.” Kakashi nods towards the fifth who was suspiciously mumbled something about infants who can’t count. He looked remarkly…unconcerned for someone who woke up a year into the future. But that’s just the Hatake charm, he thinks. “If it’s an incomplete seal then the issue is going to resolve itself, don’t worry.”

“Goddamn Brat, how cliché can you be? Amnesia?” Tsunade said while throwing her hands up in the air.

“Are you worried about me, _aunty_?” Kakashi said with a shit-eating grin that made his eye drop into a crescent—the expression became a little more intense when a vein seemingly throbbed on the fifths’ smooth forehead. Then he turns to look at Naruto and…and the expression softens, the mocking charm melting away. It was so very private.

_Intimate._

Which became even more so when the jounin ran a calloused thumb across the blond’s scarred cheeks, just under his eyes. The entire room went silent, except the beeping heart monitor. “I don’t remember how we started dating, Naruto.”

Naruto forgets how to breathe.

He then acknowledged, distantly, how there were four pairs of eyes on them. There was Tsunade, who is working her way towards a heart-attack, Sakura whose eyes started resembling large dishes, and two other nurses just hovering by. Naruto knows they are all staring, but he cannot move, especially when Kakashi’s other hand clutches his slacked ones into a tight grip. He is still looking at the jinchuriki with soft, _soft_ eyes.

“I am sorry,” the flaxen-haired jounin said very sincerely.

Naruto swallowed around a dry throat and didn’t speak. He just pressed a little closer to the comforting warmth.

Because it _felt_ amazing.

_Right._

_Amazingly_ right.

And Naruto could probably stay here for the rest of his life, granted that Kakashi kept looking at him like that, and doesn’t remove his hands and—

“What makes you think that you’re in a relationship with that _gaki_?” Tsunade questions a little louder after clearing her throat for the third time didn’t work.

Something changed and the blond could feel it in his bones, the way Kakashi tried to pull away slowly. Without thinking consciously he held the pale fingers tighter, letting out a soft whimper of disapproval. The older jounin smiled; the one that reached his eyes and shined in his grey ones.

“I don’t feel…I feel connected to him.” Kakashi finally explained but his eye never left Naruto’s sky blue ones. All the attention was making the blond feel light-headed and _he smelled so amazing—_

“O-of course.” Sakura screeched. “Connected.”

“And the way he looked at me, I felt _whole_.” Naruto mildly accepted the words coming out of his sensei’s mouth—not entirely making sense. He felt tears trickling along his eyelids before he heard a loud crash. The blond distractedly looked behind the tall figure and found the water flask broken into hundreds of pieces. Sakura’s jaws, if not for structural improbability, would’ve hit the floor long ago.

Yep, Naruto agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking your time and reading what I wrote. I have barely edited it and would worship anyone who would like to beta this crap!
> 
> Anyway, I left Naruto fandom nearly 5 years ago but some months ago a mere picture of Kakashi being...Kakashi made my heart twitch. I dove back into this proverbial hell-hole and started religiously reading all the KakaNaru fanfictions I could get my hands on. Needless to say I am disappointed.
> 
> The influx of new fics have greatly reduced. We are barely getting one fic/week for this fandom and ao3 merely holds 800 of them. I want to do something about it, I want to make all those people still in love with these two to post anything and everything about them! Be it an edit on Instagram or a funny headcanon. The more content we produce the more people will start noticing and eventually join the craze--which will be a win win situation for everyone.
> 
> I have promised myself that I will post at least 10 KakaNaru fics by the end of this year and at least two edits. I am also creating a Facebook group specifically for people who would love to have a discussion and/or want to participate in contest about this two idiots. Just message me on Instagram at Kirk_aint if you want to join!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I am very sorry about the late update. I wasn't satisfied with this chapter.
> 
> Also:
> 
> Naruto falls in love and is a jounin by the age of 16.  
> The current story progresses almost 4 years later, so he is 19...almost 20 in a month.

Naruto grimly informs Kakashi, Two years and 3 months after realizing the gravity of his feelings, on a simple routine sparring match.

“You’re number three.” He ducks at the jab aimed towards his shoulder.

Naruto, honest to god, tries not to pay attention to gossip mongers—Sai, in this case— considering half of it is about himself and Sasuke, or himself and Sakura, or Shikamaru and Temari. So it’s _totally_ not his fault—he after all couldn’t help overhearing how he was polling behind the older jounin in a not-so-surprising list of _‘Hottest Shinobis of Konoha’._

“Pardon?” Kakashi says distractedly while he lands directly behind Naruto, focused on the blonds’ footwork so he can catch him off guard.

He is also polling behind Kotetsu for some reasons.

“The list of hottest shinobis,” Naruto explains jumping away from the copy-nin. “You’re number three.”

_And I am barely reaching top ten, ugh._

“Interesting,” the older jounin says like it’s of no concern. He had suddenly rolled over to where Naruto stood and attacked with another jab, which hits him this time. “What about you?”

“I am number nine— _ouch,_ ” Of course, a kick on his shin.

Kakashi doesn’t replies and that seems to be the end of their current conversation.

Well at least, until Naruto is lying on his back and coughing up dirt. “I wonder how they came to this conclusion, who are the editors and how are they qualifie—”

“Seriously? Stats, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto sits up a little peeved. “Aren’t you flattered? Little bit?”

Kakashi straightens the hem of his dark blue standard t-shirt, his flak jacket long abandoned—Naruto had grabbed it while he was going down and had almost pulled it off as a last-ditch attempt, revealing what must be a six pack. At minimum.

He tore his gaze away immediately; face flushing for different reasons than just exhaustion.

“Of course, Naruto. Outranking you by six positions is by biggest accomplishment.” Kakashi drawls.

“Oh, come on! You aren’t pleased?”

This time Kakashi looks at him with a sort of smug expression, the one that precedes mocking and comes close to genuine bastardy-ness. “Do you think this is the first time I got on that list?”

Naruto blinks owlishly and then scowls. “Yeah, fine, asshole. Everyone thinks that you’re hot.”

Kakashi crouches, ready to re-start the spar. “Maa, you think I am hot?”

Naruto stumbled as he was about to stand and his face probably looks like a freshly plucked cherry now. He stares at his former teacher, heart beating faster than his mind could count the heartbeats. “I…--WELL. You see, you’re hot. I mean—”

“Relax,” Kakashi laughs but it looked he was getting ready to take the jinchuriki down again. Naruto wasn’t ready, not yet. “I don’t care about the list. It’s not like I will have some advantage for being within the top five.”

“Right,” Naruto coughs out. “But it does though, no?”

The flaxen-haired jounin looked a bit annoyed, with what the blond trying to interrupt their work-out. “In what way?” he sighed.

“Well, many ways. People will more likely want to date you and stuffs, for example.”

“I see,” Kakashi nods solemnly. “I will try to take advantage of that.”

_Wait._

“Wait. You’re planning on starting to go out? Like, on dates?”

For some reason Naruto wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole, just to end the misery he was feeling. The image of Kakashi going out with someone did not help in containing the overbearing anguish that caressed his insides—it felt like burning, like thousands of needles sticking inside his eyelids. _Unbearable_. He wants to cry like a damn toddler.

“Isn’t that what you just suggested?”

“I—” Did he? No. But kind of? A bubble of panic swells inside him and before he knows, he blurted out: “You have to show your face to them!”

Kakashi raises one eyebrow coolly. “I do in-fact show my face to my partners, Naruto.”

“Oh,” Something untangles inside him. “Okay. So dating. But with who?”

Naruto isn’t feeling jealous. Not at all.

The older jounin gave him a bland look, probably shaking his head at the inappropriate question. “With _whomever_ is interested. You did say I have a lot of options.”

_It’s okay. It’s fine._

“Uh, do you have anyone in mind?” Naruto swallows thickly around the rough ball that is stuck inside his throat for the last ten minutes. “I mean, she should, you know. Probably not be a spy. For example.”

Naruto knows better than bringing up Hanare, they don’t talk about that incident but fuck it. He really needs to know if Kakashi still harbored some sort of feeling for that beautiful woman, who still writes letters to the last Hatake.

(He wasn’t stalking; he just saw discarded piles of packages on Kakashi’s kitchen table once and Hanare’s letter was right on top.)

“Naruto.” Kakashi says it like a prayer, or perhaps he was begging. “I will make sure she or he isn’t a spy. Are you happy?”

_She or…?_

“Okay,” _She or he?!_ “Okay, good. Nice.”

Naruto considers that he did a great job at keeping consistency in his speech, taking in the fact that his head just exploded. Catastrophically. _She or he._

The older jounin nods, content with the reply, and goes back into crouching. Naruto doesn’t take the hint and blurts out, exploded head and all that.

“The dating thing…what about me?”

That’s it. Years and months and days of longing, pinning for those warm arms to wrap around him, a husky voice soothing his insecurities—and crying into his pillows sometimes thinking _no no no he is not for you he doesn’t even like you—_ Naruto asks him out and Kakashi just—

Kakashi sighs.

“You’re still within the top ten, ne? I am sure there are plenty of people who would like to date you. Well, less than me, as I do outrank you, but don’t take it to your heart. Now…shall we continue?”

“Wait, that’s not—”

Kakashi raises an eyebrow again, impatiently. So Naruto drops it.

The older jounin takes him down within 10 minutes, again, and it hurts like a motherfucker.

* * *

“He says he feels connected to me.” Naruto says as he unceremoniously enters the Nara compound, straight into Shikamaru’s bedroom.

“What the fuck, Naruto.” Shikamaru exclaims, sitting up straight from his bed. “It’s… 3 am.”

“I know, I know.” He drops down into a sitting position, legs still shaking with all the pent up adrenalin. “Kakashi-sensei got amnesia. He woke up today and he was all dandy and fine but then he _looked_ me with those soft eyes and asked in front of every-fucking- one how we started dating—”

“What,” Shikamaru, with all his intelligence, just woke up and seriously couldn’t keep up with the babble of his long time friend and pain-in-the-ass. “Slow down. How did Kakashi-san get amnesia?”

“Um, a missing-nin hit him with a sealing jutsu. He was unconscious for a long time but then he woke up at the hospital, thinking it’s still February.”

“What did Tsunade-sama said, considering she was over viewing his treatment?”

Naruto shrugged, “Just that it’s gonna fade away in time cause it’s an incomplete seal.”

“How troublesome.” The brunette says. He was rubbing his eyes now and Naruto found it was rather adorable, but kept his mouth shut least he is thrown out of the compound. “What’s the thing about the relationship?”

“Well…” he blushed slightly at the memory; the ghost of Kakashi’s thumbs still sending a spike of shivers down his spine. “He said he doesn’t remember how we started dating. When baa-chan asked why he thought we were in a relationship he just said he felt connected to me?”

“Hm,” Naruto can’t see Shikamaru’s thoughtful expression in the dark but can feel the gears running inside his mind.

“He also said he felt whole when I…looked at him, yeah.”

This particular image bought a soft smile to his face, and Shikamaru watched with hidden interest.

“Wow.” The brunette says like he understood something, something that Naruto didn’t.

“Wow what? Wow good or wow bad?”

“Just…wow. You’re connected with Kakashi? You’re in a relationship with him?”

“I don’t know. I mean, am I? Connected to him? Could he be wrong? There was no relationship after all…”

Shikamaru gives him a skeptical glance. “How often is he wrong? Scratch that, how often does he declares he cares for someone and that they make him feel whole?”

Naruto bites his lips, “Could he be lying?”

“Sure, who wouldn’t lie about being in a relationship with you? I do it all the time, I go around beating my chest and telling every citizen how you make me feel _whole_. It’s what keeps me alive, going into the cold, vast—”

“Okay, okay I get it!” he hisses. He came here to have a clear mind, not for being mocked. “So there _might_ be something.”

Shikamaru snorts.”How did you tell him?”

“…tell him what?”

“That you’re not in a relationship, idiot.”

“Oh well, um.” Was Naruto really twiddling his thumbs like Hinata? “I didn’t? We kind of just went along with it?”

“ _What_ ,” Shikamaru barks out. 

“I mean! We didn’t know what was causing it, it could be the seal too s-so, and we just went along?” Naruto winced. “And what was I supposed to do? He is missing months already, should I confuse him further by telling him the… _thing_ isn’t real?”

(The thought that Kakashi was only looking at him like that because of the damn seal was distressing his already cluttered mind.)

“Wow.”

“Listen—”

“Wow.”

He was using that one word a lot, Naruto wonders if he picked it up from Temari.

“Listen, I will tell you two things.” The brunette finally seems articulate enough. “Firstly, how much do you know about the white chakra?”

“Not much, just that it’s a Hatake clan bloodline and that it can be used with weapons.” Naruto never really thought about it, and everything he knew was just second hand information Kakashi threw his way sometimes. “The clan is very secretive, as far as I have heard.”

“Yes, one of the reason for the demise. How troublesome,” Shikamaru countered. “You don’t know anything about Chakra bonding, do you? Well, it’s not like you can get the information in Konoha’s archive…”

“Nope,” the blond shook his head.

“I found it some years ago, you can’t really cloud gaze in Suna and the Kazekage allowed—”

“You mean your _brother in law_ —”

“—me to look into their tower archive. I found some interesting things about chakra bonding.” Shikamaru literally tuned out Naruto’s leer. “Especially, the Hatake clan chakra bonding.”

“Wha…” It was honestly becoming problematic with how much Naruto was always thrown out of the loop. Why are they talking about Chakra bonding? “Isn’t chakra bonding a myth?”

“There’s always some truth to myths, Naruto.” The brunette reached over his bedside drawers, expertly pulling out the pack of cigrrate he hid there. “It’s like a mind link. The white chakra once comfortable around another will try to establish a link with them, marking them as their own. Pack behavior, I suppose? You know how dogs and wolves are.” 

“But—if there was a link why wouldn’t he say anything about it earlier?”

Shikamaru calmly took a drag off his cig, turning his head towards the baffled jinchuriki. “Kakashi-san probably had a pack bond with you, Sakura and Sasuke. Perhaps it was muddled and he only took a stock of all the chakra his own was bonded to once he regained consciousness. But you, Naruto, his chakra believes you’re his _mate_.”

“Teammate?” Naruto squeaked against his better judgment.

“No. Life-mate, wife, mother of his pups—whatever people with animal hindbrain think. But now, how did it form? Not spontaneously. Not without some _very_ intimate physical contact happening between you two and even then—”

He must have seen it in Naruto’s eyes when the moonlight finally hit his face, the way he stiffened with those few words or how he lowered his gaze towards the hardwood floors. After all, Shikamaru was good at reading people and Naruto was mostly open like a damn book.

“Naruto, what did you do?”

He shuts his eyes for a few seconds and says nothing. When he does open his eyes, his friend is still there staring at him, his cigarette long forgotten. _Damn_.

“Naruto.”

“I…”

“ _Naruto_.”

“It was just a mishap—”

“How did this even happen?”

“It wasn’t even sex—I…I tried. We didn’t know what we were even doing!”

“ _Kami_ , Naruto…” Shikamaru clicked his tongue. “Great, now you are practically _married_ due to your mistake.”

Naruto didn’t look at him, sunken into his own thoughts. How will he look at Kakashi after he remembers everything? Will the older jounin run away, disgusted and panicked like that day?

“How long?” the Brunette asks, lighting his cigarette again.

Naruto, for the record, knew what he asking. There was no way Shikamaru couldn’t have guessed it by now; he had after all tried his damn best to hide what he felt for all these years. Suddenly, he felt incredibly small, like he was five again and someone broke his windows, again. “Four years, I think. I realized back in Bamboo country.”

“Fuck, I never…Guess I have to up my game, huh?” Shikamaru says with a fake cheer. “You’re usually easy to read.”

“Bet,” Naruto says, trying to conjure up a ghost of a smile.

“Oh. Secondly: do keep me updated; I need to know _everything_ about this shit show. The jounin lounge needs something new.”

“Shika!” Naruto whined, god forbid if Genma or Anko knew about the situation…“You wouldn’t dare,”

“Bet,” Shikamaru says with a chuckle.

* * *

“I thought you were straight.”

It’s nearly been two months since that little incident and the following days were very peaceful; there were after all very few A-ranked or S-ranked missions coming up like they used to. This morning, after sparring with Gai and Kakashi in a particularly gruesome taijutsu match, they settled to have ramen at lunch. Naruto offered to pay, setting his plan in motion.

Currently its 2:13 PM.

In the intervening time, Naruto has spent inordinate amount of time and mental energy trying to come up with a strategy on asking Kakashi, in a casual manner, what he meant exactly about dating, and dating other guys in particular.

And if there is any chance. Even a small one. Minuscule. Nanoscale.

That this guy could be, you know, Naruto.

He polished and rehearsed his act, trying out eight different possible scenarios and responses from the older jounin and how he will push the topic towards what he actually wanted to discuss. It’s like those tactical diplomatic missions, and even though Naruto wasn’t good at them he was good at talking someone’s head off—which ultimately swayed their heart. Honestly Naruto was too good at his talk no jutsu, already a grandmaster by the age of eighteen.

Which is why he is trying not to plant his face into the ground when, after barely finishing three bowls of ramen, he blurts out like a fucking idiot, “I thought you were straight.”

_Very smooth, Uzumaki. No wonder you’re still a virgin._

He is frantically wondering if he should make up some excuse, perhaps splash the half eaten ramen on himself and run off just to get out of this clusterfuck, when he notices that Kakashi was looking at him over his well worn orange book.

“…Straight?”

Now Kakashi can be—is—the worst kind of troll, acting like he is an innocent bystander who either wasn’t listening at all or was very confused. Like, dude, knock it off. You have an IQ that’s as good as the Nara’s there is no-way you cannot _guess_ what’s going on. Except this time, Naruto swears, he can tell with absolute certainty that Kakashi has no idea what he was talking about.

“Are you not going to eat your ramen? It’s getting cold.” He says instead, praying to god that Kakashi just _forgets_.

Kakashi shakes his head and then promptly dumps his pork ramen into Naruto empty bowl. Naruto frowns but well, he was going to order another one anyway.

“Straight, Naruto?” He prompts the blond.

“Well,” Naruto starts, rubbing his hands on his neck nervously, “Heterosexual. Purely into the opposite sex.”

“Oh, I see.” The older jounin says completely unperturbed, going back to reading the little book. To be honest, the blond should have known that it would easier to agitate Kakashi by mixing up the names of village treaties than by asking sex related questions. “That’s reasonable of you to think.”

“Oh?” Naruto blinks. “Really?”

“Indeed. Very rational. Good job.”

Naruto scoffs and knows as far as the flaxen-haired jounin is considered, their conversation about his apparent non-heterosexuality ended.

Which, no fucking way.

(Okay, Naruto thinks, his apparent types are _bastards_.)

“So…have you dated a lot of guys?” Naruto asks, there was no point of being subtle now.

“Maa, a lot of my sexual partners have been men. I couldn’t keep counting,” Kakashi informs, and then inclines his head to the side. “You seem surprised.”

“No! It’s just—” He looks up at the stall’s ceiling for a moment. “You know, there was Hanare and then there was this girl from wave…what’s her name? Hanuki or Hanaki?”

“Haruki,” Kakashi replies drily. “I was only involved with her for information extraction, you know that.”

And Naruto knows that but his illogical, overly sensitive heart cannot help quivering at the image—how Kakashi’s broad, naked shoulder looked against her tiny hands or how he leaned down to kiss the crown of her head. If he was overly cold to their client or the older jounin during the entirety of that mission, nobody said anything.

Naruto swallows. “Right. Her. You just never mentioned being into guys.”

“You mean, over the countless conversation we had about our sexual experiences?”

Kakashi really needs to stop saying sexual. “We had some?”

The older jounin just raised his eyebrows to that. “The point is,” Naruto tries again, “I feel like I didn’t know this really important thing about one of my closest person.”

At this, Kakashi’s eye’s softens. “It’s not that important, Naruto. While civilians and clan heads prefer heterosexual couples for reproductions, the shinobi world doesn’t give a hoot. We die young, so we…love like that too. Hell, I lost my virginity at the age of thirteen. I just don’t think anyone cared, from my time.”

Naruto sees something flash inside Kakashi’s eyes, like he wants to say something more but stops. “Well, I am not from your time Kakashi-sensei. So I do _care_.”

“True,” He closes his book, “But what difference would there be, had I told you?”

It’s there.

The opening Naruto was waiting for all along, served by Kakashi on a silver platter.

The one in which Naruto tells him many things, like how sometimes it’s hard for him to concentrate during mission if Kakashi leaned onto him, or how he wasn’t able to sleep night after night even if the mission Kakashi went to was just a lowly B-rank, or how the image of Kakashi loving and caring for someone else makes him want to scream like a toddler, how he learned and perfected Kakashi’s gross favorites just so he can cook for him one day, and that watching stars and talking about them wasn’t that boring if it meant that Kakashi could be with him.

Or maybe, just that he likes Kakashi a little more than how one should like a friend or a superior.

And that Kakashi might like him too, if he gave Naruto a chance.

So he swallows and searches for the right word, the right tone and right time—the process not made any easier with how the older Jounin was patiently staring at him. He thinks, he should just say it casually like “I would have asked you out then,” which won’t horrify the elusive copy-nin, or make him realize Naruto was pinning for _years_ —

“Naruto-kun, Kakashi-san.” Sai’s emotionless voice drawls out from his left somewhere. “Tsunade-sama calls for team seven.”

At this point Naruto is not even surprised.

* * *

Naruto offers to bring Kakashi back to his apartment and it takes a moment for him to register why Sakura was giving him such a puzzled look.

Right. 7 month memory loss otherwise fit as a fiddle.

It could’ve been worse, for sure. The copy-nin could’ve lost almost 20 years of memories and it would have been difficult explaining who exactly they were and that how his sensei was dead, or even if it was just a few years Kakashi wouldn’t have known that the fourth shinobi war happened and his best friend caused it.

Or maybe it could have been just a few days, which would have left them on the same page regarding the chakra bond.

“We don’t live together?” was the first thing out of Kakashi’s mouth once they entered the small, tidy, barely lived in apartment. There is furrow between his brows and Naruto wants to rub them away.

“Um, no.” Naruto says after a beat. “Nobody actually…knew.”

“Oh,” the older jounin exclaims, “I blew our cover back at the hospital, didn’t I?”

Even with the relevant situation a laugh bubbles out of the blonds’ mouth, “Yeah, you sure did.”

“How new is this?”

Ha. “Very.” Kakashi doesn’t focus on Naruto’s one word replies.

“What about our team?”

Naruto walks over to open the window, letting in air and light so Mr. Ukki on the sill can breathe a little. Taking in a deep breath himself, he turns around still avoiding Kakashi’s intense gaze. “Sakura-chan knows.”

The adjoining kitchen table was surprisingly cluttered, left with mails and boxes. The jinchurki felt his fingers twitching with restlessness so he starts gathering the papers around to form a short of semblance—inside his mind, or otherwise.

“I see,” the older jounin’s deep baritone sounded nearer than it was a minute ago, and when Naruto finally turns to look he finds him just a few inches away. Not excessively close, just intimately, but definitely closer than Kakashi would have preferred being if his memories were still there.

Naruto loves it.

This in turn, makes him feel suffocated. Because Kakashi-sensei should know that…

“Listen, you should know—”

But whatever Kakashi should know gets lost on the way when a strong arm wraps around Naruto’s waist, pulling him closer so that his hips were touching one taunt abdomen, a chin sits gently on the crown on his head. He can’t breathe.

“You’re distressed, Naruto.” Kakashi says, the rumble of his voice sending shivers down the blonds’ body. “Let me help you.”

He feels his face heating up, his neck already hot but also couldn’t help feeling…awfully calm. Very comfortable, very warm and very sleepy. It’s as if all his nerves are made out of jelly now, and all he wants to do is fall asleep into the warm embrace. It felt like home.

He was also aroused. Not the urgent kind but a pleasant one, even enjoyable. Nothing like the last time—

“What did you do?” His voice is raspy, drowsy even.

“Just used my chakra to de-stress your muscles, very convenient, huh?” One of Kakashi’s hands move upward, pushing the blond unruly hair off his forehead—his face is now directly opposite to Naruto and he was looking at him with such an intense gaze.

Huh. Perhaps he was hornier than he previously thought. “You have quite a few tricks up your sleeves, sensei.”

Okay, calling him sensei now was a bad move. Naruto flushed at his own wordings

“Drop the sensei, you imp.” Kakashi chuckled, his fingertips again rubbing along his cheeks. The older jounin, undoubtedly, thinks that standing flush against each other, breathing the same air, _touching_ is something they do regularly.

Naruto swallows thickly, a little dazed and wanting nothing else. But, he needs to tell him this was not right. Set the record straight before Kakashi gains his memories back. And yet before he could say one word, he hears the telltale rustle of clothing and—

_Oh god._

_He is so fucking hot._

There he was, blushing like a young maiden; looking up at the _mask less_ face of one of the most gorgeous man he ever met. Kakashi was looking down at his wide eyed expression, grinning and—there were _dimples—_ and Naruto thinks he will die right about now and—

They were kissing.

Naruto felt his eye rolling backwards before he closed them, concentrating on the soft, warm but slightly chapped lips. It was no way his first kiss but it just felt…different. It wasn’t very passionate, just soft and homely. The one he thinks his parent’s would’ve shared after a long troublesome day.

It was the best kiss Naruto experienced.

Kakashi moved away, and Naruto whimpered unknowingly. He opened his eyes then, quite reluctantly and found the soft grey ones already staring back.

It was too much. He needed to cry.

“Naruto,” he starts, “You know I have a great sense of smell, right? Well…I can literally smell any _physical_ reactions.”

That does it. Kakashi can apparently smell his hard-on. Does that mean Kakashi could always smell his arousal? Oh no…

Naruto clears his throat and then steps back from the embrace. “Please rest. Read your book, whatever you do.” Waving his hand to prove a point, also to dissipate the awkward position. “I’ll be back, soon.”

The younger jounin practically runs towards the door, stopping short when he hears Kakashi call out for him.

“Naruto,” he says, then blinks, then looks up again. His mask-less face is really emotive and beautiful, Naruto concludes. “I may not remember how we came to be. But it changes nothing.”

Naruto swallows, nodding. He leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry, and thank you for everyone who responded. I was overwhelmed and thought I will fuck it up, that I will fail all of you. I wanted this chapter to be funny but then it became angsty. 
> 
> comments and kudos make me smile a lot, and thank you for your patience.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo man, that was long.
> 
> Thanks to Kelly, Ollie and Winterfic for always helping out!

When Naruto enters Kakashi’s apartment through the open window, he finds the older jounin sitting diligently and reading humongous books, looking like he didn’t just lose 6 months worth of memories twenty-four hours ago.

“How’s the memory?” He asks sauntering over the kitchen table. Kakashi doesn’t looks surprised by his presence, which makes Naruto wonder if the chakra bond can sense the individual chakras it is connected to.

“Still missing,” the copy-nin says, shrugging. 

Yesterday, Naruto would’ve given his first born, his collection of stone plants, his dad’s kunai and probably his left kidney to hear the exact opposite of what Kakashi said. But that was yesterday and today, at this fine moment, Naruto felt his concerns being overruled by the fear of Kakashi gaining back his memories and starting to…hate him.

Naruto really needs to sit down, grow a pair, and tell Kakashi the truth.

Like right now.

It’s just.

The way Kakashi’s eye finally move away from those books to take a look at him, and then the sides crinkling and mouth tightening into a smile behind his mask. It’s just—

The way he shoves the books away, not caring if some of them fell over precariously, so that there a place for Naruto to sit, and Naruto knows he shouldn’t sit on the table—that the older jounin was always annoyed when he did it but he never did get off it, grinning like an idiot when Kakashi kept talking about a furniture named _chair_ while his heart would sped up, branching into different directions of a big mine field. It was just-

It was really heady. _Potent_. All of this. There is a potential for addiction.

Naruto swallows and hops on the table.

“I think I need to write the report, Iruka will surely have my head otherwise.” Kakashi says, going back to turning the pages. Naruto noticed it was about tribal and differential marriage laws.

“No need, I did it before coming here.”

If Naruto had one even ounce of dignity left, he would have been appalled at the surprised look on the other’s face. “You did?”

“See, I do write my reports and send them on time!”

“You know it’s not about you sending late in reports…” Kakashi continues, getting back to where he left the book. “It’s just. Your handwriting, spelling, sentence construction, grama—”

“Hey!” Naruto complains, “You’ve lost 6 months. Maybe I got better, maybe I am on-par with ero-senin’s writings.”

“Are you?”

He just grins impishly and answers, “Nah.”

This was nice. Outstandingly nice, to be able to talk to the older jounin like this. He terribly missed the easy sort of way they fitted around each other, when the weeks blended into months of non-conversation, avoidance and stilted words. After…after that happened.

“So. What are you reading exactly?” He motions over towards the tome of books.

“Just going through what I reading before; laws and ethics of the five nations.” He closed the book harshly. “Tsunade-sama thinks the recovery time…might do me some good before I inevitably take the hat.”

“Oh,” Naruto belatedly remembers Kakashi was the next Hokage candidate. “That’s a lot of reading.”

“Maa, for some reason I remember reading all these.”

“How do you do that? I don’t think I can even remember their titles. Ugh.” Naruto grumbles, swinging his legs like a petulant kid.

“I don’t know.” Kakashi chuckles. “I am somewhat of a genius.”

“Gee. No need to beat your drums, we all know.” He says and watches Kakashi stand up, taking a step towards his right.

Towards Naruto.

It’s only one minuscule step, but there isn’t much distance between them to cover. Really.

Except right now, he is closer…practically standing between Naruto’s legs and the kitchen table is low enough that he is only a couple of centimeters shorter.

He is Uzumaki Naruto, the hero of the 4th shinobi war and bringer of peace. He is _not_ flustered because his ex-instructor, team leader, the great copy-nin Hatake Kakashi—the man of his dreams— is _in-between his legs_ and—

Kakashi cants his whole body forward, slumping into Naruto’s personal space. He notices that the older jounin’s left hand was resting on the table very close to his hips and the light pressure on his right hands were actually on Naruto’s….

Naruto’s inner thighs.

“W-What are you doing, Kakashi-sensei?” His voice is hoarse and trembling, and it took a tremendous effort to _think_ and let those words out.

Kakashi’s voice is just a warm breath against his lips now as he says, “I am simply just—”

The doorbell goes off just then, accompanied by a loud bang on the front door. Naruto jumps off the table and almost knocks the other man out with his nervous energy; thankfully the only victims of his reflexes were the books and a blue coffee mug.

“Kakashi-sensei, is Naruto here? We were supposed to meet an hour ago!” Sakura’s muffled voice booms from the front door.

As Naruto starts to nearly hyperventilate, it’s his supposed _husband’s_ competent hand that gets a hold of his face, squishing his cheeks. “Go, I will clean it up.”

Naruto looks at Kakashi’s deeply soft but worried gaze and nods once, twice. “I am here, Sakura-chan! I just, um, had things to do.”

“ _You had things to do._ ” Sakura sings with a weird tilt in her voice.

Naruto tries not to look at Kakashi while he maneuvers himself to walk towards the still closed door. He stops short when he feels a hand holding his wrist in a feather light grip.

“I will see you later tonight, Naruto. In your apartment.”

Naruto was afraid he was going to faint by time Sakura stopped crackling like a damn hyena.

* * *

“So?”

“So what?”

“Come on.”

“C’mon _what_ , Sakura?”

“Has he remembered yet?”

Naruto sighs cranking his stiff neck. Sakura was especially hard during the spar, gleefully smashing him into a tree and since he was distracted the _torture_ went on for an hour. This was no way a friendly match between two friends, no; it was pure plain medieval _torture_. “You know he hasn’t.”

“Have you told him yet, then?”

He was half tempted to change the direction of their walk towards Ichiraku, instead of the local dango shop. “You know I haven’t.”

“Mhm,” Sakura murmurs and then, “Have you had sex yet?”

“What?!” Naruto stops and stares at her incredulously. “Are you even serious?”

“He looked like he was ready to screw you into the hospital bed yesterday, though.”

“Sakura—” he starts, heart shuddering and stomach revolting. “He is sick; I won’t have sex with him.”

“Again—”

“Naruto won’t have sex with whom?” Says a gravelly femine voice, a very _known_ and dreaded voice. Naruto swallows, sweating profusely at such intrusion and slowly turns around hoping to anyone who will listen to him (just this once, in life) that it wasn’t _her_.

_Oh god no._

_Fuck my life._

“No one,” He says.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura says, eyes closing in a pleased manner.

“Oh?” Anko’s eyes glinted, a grin slowly spreading. “Come one, brats. Sit with us.”

Naruto was planning on politely excusing himself when Sakura wrapped her strong hands around his arms, pulling him along inside the dango shop. Now see, Naruto might be dumb but he wasn’t dumb _dumb_. It means that, he has some sort of insight about events that would probably ruin most of his life, traumatize him to the point that he will be admitted to the loony bin, or perform seppuku.

So, the moment he spotted Genma and Gai of all people waving at them over the open bar he immediately tried to run away.

“Now, Naruto. It’s rude to keep people waiting, ne? We just want to _help_ you out.” Anko says with a cat like grin, holding Naruto’s jounin shirt in a vice grip. Sakura started giggling.

“Sakura-san, Naruto-kun! Ah, the youthfulness is brimming today! This makes me miss my most prized rival,” Gai hollers to no-one in particular, striking the nice guy pose immediately.

“Your most prized rival? That’s what we are here to talk about. Or,” Anko continues as she took a seat beside the senbon munching jounin.”What Naruto is here to talk about. So Kid, spill.”

Naruto notices that Sakura is awfully quite but one look at her face confirms that she is thoroughly enjoying whatever the blond was going through. Perhaps she is punishing him for all those years he teased her, with admittedly bad medical jokes but _c’mon_ those were really funny. Apparently it wasn’t funny for the pink-haired kunoichi, she bottled it up and right now was clearly appreciating Naruto’s downfall.

“Oh?” Genma mimics a surprised expression which was evidently, fake. “What do want to tell us? Last I heard, he was on a medical leave due to mission mishap.”

“WHAT?” Gai starts, “My rival is injured? Why did I not know of this!”

“Chill, Gai-sensei. He just lost some memories,” Naruto tries to placate the overly emotional shinobi.

“He also believes that he is in a relationship with Naruto.” Sakura chirps, holding a piece of dango skewer innocently.

“What?” Genma and Anko both yell. The blond winces, “Keep it down!”

“This is incredible! Naruto-kun, I am happy on both yours and Kakashi’s behalf. May your relationship bloom into-”

“Ehh, Sorry but it won’t bloom into anything.” He blurts, stopping Gai mid-sentence. “He just has some misplaced memories, probably. We won’t be…a _thing_ when he gets his memories back.” 

Gai shakes his head, “That can’t be true, I know-”

“Shut it, Gai.” Anko orders, pulling out the fourth dango stick. “Why won’t you have sex with him?”

“Because he can’t remember shit?” It took a lot of effort to not add in a cheeky duh.

“Oh, but _he’s_ going to want to.” Genma murmurs but Naruto catches it anyway.

“No, he is _not_.” He says strictly but then what Genma said caught up. “How do you know that?”

“Aa.” That’s all the older man says, then he briefly meets Anko’s imploring gaze and something…clicks. “Just saying, because, you know.”

“Just saying what?” Naruto asks. This is the fifth time he was thrown out the loop in two days, damn it. Sakura perks up beside him…at least he wasn’t the only interested candidate.

Anko smiles, a teeny tiny secret smile that somehow exposes one of her canines and Genma snorts. It’s like, they know something that Naruto should’ve known and their expression is everything and nothing—

“Complete what you were saying, asshole.” He tries, gritting his teeth.

“Don’t order me around, Brat-”

“Please,”

The gleeful smiles on their faces should’ve been enough warning but Naruto is still kind of dumb to begin with and he just _needs_ to know.

“That Kakashi is really, really, _really_ good.” Genma explains.

“ _Very_ talented fingers, too.” Anko adds. 

She must be a witch, and Genma, a wizard because the moment those very _not_ innocent words were out of their mouths Naruto felt his knees buckling, face flushing like a plum, breath coming in short and he was already aroused in _public_ —

“Maa, can I steal some dangos from you?”

Fuck Naruto’s life.

“Kakashi!” Anko yells warmly. “Allow me to introduce myself, I am Mitarashi Anko-”

“Even If I tried I wouldn’t be able to forget you, Anko. I don’t think _anyone_ can.” The flaxen-haired jounin says, pushing the lose-jawed green beast off his seat beside Naruto. The jinchurki was too pre-occupied, his head a literal mess of images and words so he didn’t even notice the warm palm splayed on his lower back. Sakura’s cough brings him back, However.

“Hey,” Kakashi says, a non-smile lingering under his mask.

“H-hey,” Naruto fumbles trying to bring back a sense of normalcy. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“Mmh,” He was chewing on a dango, mask still in place. “Just missing you.”

Gai starts crying from somewhere and Naruto gulped. Even with the onslaught of the stupid _stupid_ blush, he says: “We met just some hours ago, Sensei.”

“You still call him sensei? Kinky.” The senbon munching jounin teases. Naruto chooses to take the right path and ignore him.

“I am _sick_ , Naruto. You shouldn’t leave my side.” Kakashi moans. “It wounds my pride that you would rather spend time with _them_.”

The warm hand on his lower back sits a little harder then, a little possessive. Their knees were already touching and if Naruto leaned in, he could probably get a waft of the strong earthly smell he likes so much. This is already such a dangerous game but the way Kakashi looks at him?

It’s phenomenal. Magical.

The moment is however cut short when Naruto remembers he is late for his genin guarding duty. So pressing a soft caress on the Jounin’s exposed hand, as an apology, he turns to leave—not really caring about the other occupants.

Sakura looks like she is mouthing something at him, something suspiciously like ‘Very, very, _very_ good’.

* * *

Four years after Naruto passes his Jounin exams, he and Kakashi finally have a system.

It’s a relatively fine protocol that they use only when the missions are so disastrous that drinking Tsunade’s stolen stash won’t help them. It’s very rare; however it’s still a thing. They seldom use it, unless the causalities are so heavy that Naruto has to personally inform those peaceful families about their missing comrade’s heroic deeds, and Kakashi filing for replacements. 

It works like this: They don’t talk when while returning back. They stand in front of whatever medic nin that’s available, shoulder to shoulder and wait for the predicament. Then reports, a few drinks, but they still don’t talk. When the clock finally strikes 8 Naruto walks towards training ground 8, where Kakashi would be waiting for him in his grays and blues.

Then, they beat the shit out of each other.

It’s not sparring, or training, or exercise.

Naruto strikes out with little restraint, and yes he is much stronger than Kakashi but the older jounin wasn’t just feared across Nations because of his dad. His experience in taijutsu alone could whip Naruto clean and they are almost evenly matched. They fight like they hate each other instead of…yeah. It feels good; it feels amazing to be beaten up and beating someone up without any consequence. They can fight without killing each other, Kuruma will heal him up and Kakashi will sneak into the hospital. Then, they will be back at the jounin lounge tomorrow taking up their next mission.

It’s one of those nights—3 months and two weeks before Kakashi loses his god damned memory—and Naruto knows that it’s going to be a hard night, the way he sees the older jounin’s face becoming more and more impassive.

So they do the reports, shower, mediate and then they are here—kicking, punching, pushing and pulling. Kakashi’s forehead has a cut that’s bleeding and Naruto’s ribs are bruised so badly that he can barely breathe, and as he tries to avoid the well aimed jab, Naruto feels like maybe he can afford to be alive. For an hour at least.

He is also hard. Yet, it has nothing to do with the fact that his body is flush against the older jounin—okay, perhaps a little. But it was mainly the adrenalin that comes with the fact that Kakashi missed an opportunity, missing an uppercut and now Naruto is finally controlling the fight. So he stays hard and gets harder, corning the copy-nin with punches and almost knees him in the balls.

They have moved from their previous position and now Kakashi has no place to retreat. The tree was solid, stable and hard where he had pinned the taller man with a forearm on his throat. That’s when he realized that Kakashi is hard, too. Which again—no problem. It happens.

Except that Kakashi was looking at him, _inside him_ , and the moonlight painted his panting face with such longing—even though Naruto has his body completely immobilized the older jounin could definitely shift his hips and he _does_ that. Suddenly, their cocks aren’t just two parallel lines but brushing which— _yes, yes, yes, please_ — 

Yes.

It’s maybe, ten thrust.

Naruto is sure it’s not enough to make them come. The fiction is surely good, his eye balls rolling back and the hot breath of ‘Naruto’ against his cheeks felt like a fucking freight train just ran over his body. It surely isn’t enough, but that’s just what Naruto thinks before his pants were getting wet.

Trust Kakashi to redefine dirty fucking for him, although he has no experience he could speak of.

Also trust Kakashi to bring him down from that post-orgasmic high with just one look.

Because right now? He was looking at Naruto with _revulsion_ ; appalled and disgusted.

Naruto has seen this look maybe twice—once when he almost dying and then too, it was…it was kinder. His insides were squabbling now, playing tic-tac-toe with his sensitive heart as Kakashi pulled away.

“I—” Kakashi starts. “I am sorry.”

“Ka—” he tries to say something but is inevitably stopped.

“This didn’t happen. Clear?”

Naruto swallows around a heavy lump and nods. Kakashi doesn’t look relived but he disappears into a puff of smoke just the same while the blond takes a step back and falls down.

It felt like he was burning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am amazed by all the beautiful responses. I didn't realize people will love this so much! Thank you, it's you guys that make me work harder. 
> 
> If you guys would like to talk about anything then hit me up on insta: Kirk_aint  
> tumblr: eyethefluff. 
> 
> Oh, I take prompts on tumblr so do send them in!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

He didn’t go back to his apartment that night, not to avoid Kakashi—not _only_ —but because after over-viewing the bratty genins, Naruto decided it was a good idea to visit Iruka and help him grade papers.

Naruto Uzumaki grading papers. Not a sentence you’d hear twice in your life.

To be honest, Iruka was just happy to talk to him (It seemed like the rumor mill hasn’t filled him in yet.) and took most of the difficult reading materials for himself. However, Naruto wasn’t suited for desk jobs and marking papers with big red pens for three hours straight took a toll on him, mentally that is.

So what was he doing here, at the training ground 8, instead of going back to his apartment? The thing is, his mind was too tired to deal with what’s going to happen once he reaches home.

Maybe Kakashi finally remembered. Maybe he is reading his last edition of Icha Icha. Maybe he tried to wait for him, but Kakashi is still technically recovering, so maybe he fell asleep on _Naruto’s bed_.

  
Down to his underwear. Holy shit, _could he be down to his underwear_?

  
He lets his forehead fall against the large lone tree, a little too hard before he finally admitted.

  
Yes, he made a mess out of this.

  
Yes, the drama is incomparable. He should win an award.  
  
  
Yes, he is the biggest moron Konoha has to offer.

He needs to tell Kakashi that not only they are not in a relationship but for the past few months they were barely friends. And if…if their chakras are linked, bonded, then it’s nothing more than a fluke—created in a wrong place at a wrong time due to a desperation fueled orgasm. The orgasm that made Kakashi look so disgusted—

  
“You should go back to your apartment,”

  
It’s a testament of how exhausted Naruto actually is when he doesn’t react as a large, warm hand envelops his nape. It sits there pleasantly as if it found a home.

“Yeah.” He replies lifting his face off the tree.

The hand tightens marginally, nicely. He loves those hands, and its owner.

  
“You’re exhausted, I can feel it.”

“You mean,” Naruto gulps, “Through the…chakra bond?”

“…Yes,” the man says and the hand on his nape loosens a bit. “Did I tell you about it?”

  
Naruto shakes his head, wondering if Kakashi was ever going to tell him. “Shikamaru did.”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything, the warmth of his tightening hands are back. That brings him back to why he must tell him the truth, right now. Kakashi—even with his assholery and porn reading habits—has been nothing but a good guy. The best guy in Naruto’s opinion, and so very open minded to his ideas and thoughts.

He will understand. Naruto will say he was put on the spot when Kakashi went all chummy on him that day, and perhaps add that he had some sort of a crush thing going on—no L word for the moment— and the older nin would be as kind as he was always—

The warm palm leaves his nape and Naruto is really considering it, taking a deep breath he tries starting the conversation when…

  
Lips.

  
There are lips on his neck that are as warm as his hands but softer, which also means Kakashi opened his mask in _public_ just to kiss his necks, lips parted slightly and moist air blowing—then strong arms are caging him, palm on either side of Naruto’s head, his stiff front pressing against the blond’s back.

  
Naruto whips around in Kakashi’s arm.

“Kakashi, I—”

The _too_ _beautiful_ man’s eyes are still lingering by Naruto’s lips, and then slowly shifts back up to search his eyes.

No. This is exactly what Naruto— _no_ ,

  
“We can’t…”

  
“It’s the night shift,”

  
“…What does that even mean?”

  
“The training grounds are deserted.”

  
Naruto gapes a little, “Wait, are you—are you kidding me? Aren’t you suppose to be the adult in this relationship—”

  
Yet before he could complete the flaxen haired jounin bites his thumb with one sharp canine ( _isn’t that just fucking hot?)_ before slamming his hand on the tree bark. Not even seconds pass before a lazy pug appears.

“Yo, boss.” Pakkun says, “Naruto-kun, haven’t seen you in a while.”

  
“Can you keep an eye on the gate perimeters? I was on guarding shift.” Kakashi replies, totally nonchalant that his ninkens could see how he was _caging in on Naruto_. The dog heaves a sigh and then disappears.

  
“Guarding duty?” Naruto asks once he gets his mind out of the gutter.

“Mmh, don’t worry It’s just till mid-night.”

  
The sharp nose is nuzzling against his cheek now and it feels weirdly domestic, not sexual. Naruto laughs a little nervously, but also because he was ticklish. “No, Kakashi, you don’t really…”

  
_Understand this, want this, want **me**._

_  
_Although, maybe Kakashi does. The way he is looking at Naruto, the want and desire wafting his own senses and firing at his nerve ending—god, Naruto _wants_ this too. Maybe, what Kakashi is offering isn’t as bad as the awkward conversation in store for them, wait, it might even make it better. So Naruto gives in, hating himself a little, and it’s…

_Magnificent._

_  
_Naruto should feel terrible, like the first time he understood the existence of the nine tails, but he has only a couple of seconds to ponder how deep he is digging his own grave before Kakashi is rearranging his head to kiss him.

At first, everything is soft but electrifying. A conscious thought in his mind wiggles free, it tells him that Kakashi is sick, that Naruto is deceiving him and taking advantage of his condition. Yet, the thought slithers out the moment a hot tongue meets his. Naruto moans reluctantly, and he should’ve known that Kakashi kisses like he does everything else.

  
Intensely, masterfully, thoroughly.

  
A deep groan rumbles from the older man, sending shivers down his spine and suddenly they are grasping each other like their life depended on it—groin flushed against each other, hands on each other’s faces. Naruto could probably come within the next five seconds.

  
If he really had to.

  
“Holy shit.” He exclaims once they are catching their breath while Kakashi gets busy trying to pull the collar of shirt and sucking a very obscene bruise on his collar bone. Naruto whines at it, lets his hand settle against the small of Kakashi’s back…pulling him closer so their erections rubbed against each other.

  
It felt like the last time. They are just—they have barely—and Naruto is already—

“Kakashi, this—” he tries to grasp the words, “—needs to…slow down.”

_Or stop altogether._

The older man gently bites his earlobe; “Really?” he breathes roughly and pushes Naruto further into the tree. His long fingers were pulling down the blond’s zipper, with little difficulty, considering Naruto’s cock was a fucking metal rod right now.

This well, doesn’t stop Kakashi for long anyway, and before Naruto could blink to clear out tears there was a warm hand palming his stiff cock. It was so hot and his hands were big enough to span Naruto’s girth, _what the fuck_ , it was going to end too _soon_ —

“Naruto,” Kakashi says from somewhere and it takes an immense sort of strength for him to open his blurry eyes and concentrate.

“Nng…?” he responds brokenly. If the those awfully skilled fingers weren’t enough to bring him down then the way Kakashi was looking him—flushed cheeks, eyes wide and moving so fast as if he was cataloging each and every reaction—did it. Naruto whines lowly, closing his eyes again because it was too much. “I’m—r-really…”

  
Kakashi swipes his callous thumb across the cock-head, then the bundle of nerves underneath, simultaneously licking a long stripe of Naruto’s exposed throat. “You can come now.”

This is good, because right at that moment Naruto completely loses it. He spurts, and keeps spurting, what looks like a year worth of cum and spills everywhere. He pants like a dog, heart-beat running a steady race…and the older nin was sucking on that engorged nerve below his chin. It feels like he was never going to come down from this posy-orgasmic high, the pleasure pulsating inside his mind for so long that it became physically uncomfortable.

What felt like moments, seconds or even hours later Kakashi finally disengages. Pulling him off slightly before pressing a very sincere kiss against the blond’s trembling lips, murmuring an apology. His fingers, pale in the moonlight, were cum strained as the copy-nin bought them up and…. _licked them off_. An involuntary shiver made the jinchuriki’s dick itch.

And—

_Where the fuck did Pakkun come from?_

“Boss, sorry to interrupt.” The ninken says, totally okay with his master _licking off Naruto’s cum like_ it’s a normal every day event.

  
Kakashi is—

It’s okay. It’s _okay._

Considering that Naruto is on active military duty, its takes him an inordinate amount of time to tune into the conversation taking place right in front of him.

“…just a trespasser, no significant shinobi affiliation.”

  
“Izumo and Kotetsu were already at the scene?”

  
“Hai,” the dogs shakes his body all over tiredly. “It was an old lady; they will probably get sentimental if you don’t head over.”

“Agreed,” Kakashi confirms. “You’re dismissed, Pakkun.”

The dog yawns and disappears into smoke just like his master does. Naruto heaves a sigh, his abs were still quivering and brain still mushy. His dick, given the stunt the older nin just pulled, is still hard.

“I have to go,” Kakashi starts neutrally, yet he looks regretful as he gives Naruto’s body a one over.

“What about you?” he asks, trying to act like he didn’t need the tree to stand straight.

“Next time.” He already had his mask on.

And…no.

This is wrong. This whole situation is utterly fucking wrong, but having his chakra-married husband, with a medical condition, to whom Naruto has been lying for days, gets him off like _that_ and then go and solve a minor crisis that any competent chunin can take of with _that_ in his pants was well, just wronger.

Kakashi has barely taken two steps before he is bodily flung back against the tree Naruto was taking shelter a couple seconds ago. A surprised look crosses the older jounin’s eye and before he completely lost the sudden rush of confidence Naruto falls down on his knees, face directly in-front of a big noticeable bulge.

He grabs the front of his pants, and the erection obviously hasn’t gone anywhere, which pleases Naruto immensely.

“Naruto, I can’t—”

Naruto is already pulling down the zipper which is very hard, so he pulls at the pant. “I am sure you can, _Kakashi-sensei_.”

  
Kakashi is…big. It’s not like Naruto hasn’t noticed in frequent onsen trips, or even a few minutes ago, when it was pressed against his own. It’s just. He didn’t realize quite _how big_. A dollop of pre-cum slides down the painfully red-head and lands on Naruto’s hand, the hand which can’t even hold the cock properly—he swears the dick is as thick as his wrists.

Now the thing is…Naruto’s sexual experience starts and ends with a desperate mutual masturbation session with Sasuke when they were like, thirteen. So frankly he has no idea what Kakashi might like. Will he even be able to take cock far enough? He didn’t gag much with banana’s…

Taking a deep breath he goes at it without a second thought, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue everywhere. Kakashi definitely doesn’t seem to mind, judging from those groans and how he is altering between looking at Naruto’s eyes and slamming his head against the tree. He surely didn’t have the experience but the enthusiasm is there, especially because Naruto likes the taste. The heavy manly musk that invades his nostrils and the salty, creamy sticky-ness…he didn’t really realize he was going to fall in love with _this._

Kakashi keeps running his fingers through his locks, sometimes tugging to move him forward, letting himself go little by little. This makes Naruto bolder and bolder, hornier and hornier, not caring of the obscene porn star worthy noises he is making. He tongues along the frenulum, pressing his small nose against those heavy ball sacks and runs his teeth up and down the shaft till Kakashi loses all control and forces his face down onto his cock.

Naruto discovers accidentally that he has no gag reflex.

He relaxes his mouth and his throat, which he didn’t the first few times, and lets the older nin face fuck him. It’s glorious. Kakashi is so heavy, so big, so perfect which fills him right up and when half of the thrust are just little more than involuntary jerks, Naruto pulls off and looks him straight in the eye before speaking.

“You can come now, Kakashi.”

The bad news is that half of Kakashi’s load—and there’s a lot…a lot of it—ends up on his face.

Good news? Kakashi kisses Naruto’s cheeks and chin clean and gets him off all over again with his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruh, I am so very sorry. Nothing is going right in life or in the world right now and I HAVE THOUSANDS OF KAKANARU AU WHY 
> 
> anyway, I divided the chapter again so see you soon after I finish editing. I can't write smut much, sorry :(
> 
> also thanks to kelly again for being the cute lil cheerleader. 
> 
> I am always available to talk on insta if you're feeling down if you are self quarantined or gov-quarantined: kirk_aint  
> tumblr: eyethefluff.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the late chapter, just want to say that you guys are keeping me afloat during these bad time. Nothing is going as planned. But thank you.

After the…well after the training ground incident, Kakashi refused any sort of eye contact with Naruto for a solid 3 weeks.

  
He wasn’t overly avoidant—probably couldn’t be—because someone had to tell Naruto how stupid he was being, plus he was their team leader. He definitely stared at a weird spot somewhere over Naruto’s shoulder, and refused to look up from his book if they crossed paths. He remembers being annoyed at that time, because _he_ was the one in love with the older jounin, _he_ was one who has to try and pretend he isn’t, _he_ was the one who got handed everything he ever wanted only to be yanked back by the terrible, disgusted look on Kakashi’s eyes. If Naruto could pretend that nothing had happened, then so could Kakashi. Or he could at least fucking try.

But this time though…

This time it’s different, and Naruto, who is habitually not shy at all—his landlords wrote petitions after petitions to stop him from roaming around naked with the windows open—found himself staring at his own shoes the moment he remembers about Kakashi doing… _that_ in the training fields. This thought is usually closely followed by the fact that Kakashi was convinced he was doing that to his _mate_ , and Naruto finds himself suddenly all flustered and stuttering, with the urge to pick at the hem of his shirt.

This is a problem.

Because Kakashi? He is fucking everywhere Naruto goes and acts so…

Husband-like.

No, this doesn’t fall under ‘just lover’ territory. Kakashi acts like he _married_ Naruto the first chance he got and was currently, swiftly trying to move Naruto in his own apartment. Kakashi was surely crafty in his ways—that Naruto finds, when he wakes up for the third time in Kakashi’s bed when he remembers falling asleep in his _own fucking apartment._

  
In the jounin mess hall, he would casually drop an apple and a couple of apricots in Naruto’s tray before turning around and ruthlessly tearing into Mufi’s kenjutsu theory with Inoichi-san.

On duty, three hours into guarding his second genin team, when somehow— _how exactly?—_ he catches the sight of Naruto trying to stretch his back and offhandedly offers to take over so he can check the perimeters ‘as planned’. (Which he was sure wasn’t.)

In conference lounge, when the head addresser had to stop his presentation on increased susceptible hostility because Naruto has been train sneezing for the last five minutes—it’s not his fault kurama refused to heal seasonal flues like he used to!—and Kakashi literally produces some sort of pills out thin air that magically cures Naruto of all his symptom, then gently strokes his neck till the flush of illness is replaced with a flush of embarrassment and arousal. Naruto is fucking glad everyone is looking the other way because the hard-on in his pants is not _invisible_.

In hokage tower, where Naruto falls asleep aiding Shizune with paperwork and baa-chan’s wrath then wakes up surrounded by blankets and the smell of warm miso soup from his kitchen.

Kakashi is everywhere and he acts so fucking married that Naruto finds himself forgetting that the whole thing is a lie.

* * *

“I want it.”

“You have been saying that for the last 20 minutes, Naruto.”

“No, but like I really _, really_ want it.”

“Mhm, okay.” Kakashi nods along as they walk side by side from the fresh market.

  
“As in, I don’t think I can survive without it any longer.”

“Naruto,” Kakashi is still walking but turns to look at him in an indulgent sort of way. “You already have dozens of plants—”

“Right, why stop now?”

“—and barely a place to keep them. You will need a whole yard at this rate.”

“Well….” Naruto whines again, one hand thrown up in mock irritation. “…Can we buy a house then?”

Kakashi stumbles a little, light flush blooms across his visible ears. “Maa, if you’re sure.”

“I need a big yard, though. We cannot compromise on that!”

“Maa, if you’re sure.”

“You will be sleeping on the floor if any of your nin-kens even try to piss on my plants, Kakashi.”

“…Maa, if you’re sure.”

“And nine kids.”

“Maa, if—wait, what?” Kakashi looked at him incredulously after swiftly unsealing his apartment door. Naruto giggled but tried to get back into the serious mood.

“Why? What’s wrong with kids?”

“Naruto,” the older nin says his name like a prayer. He slowly puts down the paper bags, a few other essentials he picked up on the way, and steak for the dogs then turns around to face the grinning blond. “Nothing’s wrong with kids but, nine kids? Why nine?”

Naruto made a thoughtful expression before flopping down the only couch, a green and ugly one that he hates so much. “Because tens a lot, y’know.”

Kakashi was leaning against the armrest now; an aggravated look in his eyes told Naruto everything he needs to know. “Nine’s not?”

“No?”

Within moments he was tangled in a mess of arms, legs and laughter. The couch creaked endlessly as Naruto tried to get away from the onslaught of tickles, he tried to talk but every time he opened his mouth he could only cackle, hands slapping Kakashi’s shoulder to make him stop but the older Nin was pitiless.

“Please—ha…Ohmygod I can’t anymore,” He tries again, kicking out one leg from where it was pressed against the other man’s hip. His heart was warm, bubbly, and Naruto felt irrevocably happy suddenly.

“Mmh, I think that’s enough punishment, no?”

“I don’t deserve to be….”

Naruto hears his voice lose momentum as he silently watches Kakashi pull down his mask, eyes zeroing on his lips. Intuitively he just knew what the man wanted when one of those large hands shifted to lay over his crotch, while the other snaked around to grab his neck. Naruto also knew that the _big thing_ digging into his thighs wasn’t a fucking scroll.

And, damn. Naruto might have tried to avoid any sort of personal times by taking extra D-rank missions in the last few days, trying to control his emotions and see the logical side of this shit fest. Right now they are in private, literally in each other’s arm. And Naruto _should_ say no, they are not chakra married, yes he tricked Kakashi to give him two mind blowing orgasms, and no _it’s not what it seems like._

The problem is.

Had someone asked him a week ago about what sort of person Kakashi is, Naruto would’ve said a lot of things.

He would’ve said that Kakashi is the type to clean his dishes as soon as he is done. He is type to wake up immaculate, fold his sheets without a single crease. He is the type to buy you red bean soup when you’re sick, while still appearing like he doesn’t give a fuck. The type to read and memorize the reference section at the end of a book, and report minor mistakes in the citation style to the managing editor.

The type of person who might look like an unyielding blade, but deep inside is the sweetest of marshmallow.

Naruto definitely didn’t peg him as the type to initiate sex as soon as they are alone.

“Um…I don’t think we should be doing this?” He says against the other’s lips, right after Kakashi leaned into him and right before what they are doing can be technically referred to as a kiss.

Kakashi raises one single eyebrow, which definitely _doesn’t_ make Naruto’s dick jump.

“Why not?”

“Well you’re still recovering…and stuffs.”

“Sakura didn’t say we should not.” Kakashi’s mouth, warm and soft, shifts to the corner of Naruto’s lips. His tongue darts out quickly, just a taste. In the meantime, a thumb slides underneath Naruto’s uniform shirt, swirling back and forth with an ease that suggests infinitely more familiarity than they’ve had the opportunity to build.

“Maybe, uh, she forgot?”

“You think Sakura, _our Sakura_ , forgot to inform me in a loud, scary and repetitive manner about things I am not allowed to do during my medical leave?”

Naruto exhales a chuckle, “Yeah, that doesn’t sound right.”

Then, those thin but quick lips descends upon him like molten lava and…yeah. Kakashi is through, like he is patient, which doesn’t surprise the younger jounin one bit. He knows what he is doing, and the way his tongue traces Naruto’s mouth as if he is delicacy to be savored, is putting a lot of ideas up his head, that to be honest were there all along.

Naruto, inexperienced as he is, doesn’t stand a fair chance.

“You drive me crazy,” he rasped against the flaxen-haired jounin’s lips once they part to breath. Naruto’s tone sounds apologetic and he sincerely hopes Kakashi will take that into consideration once he regains his memories.

It’s scary, Naruto thinks, how Kakashi, who probably hasn’t dated in _decades_ and cannot possibly have gotten laid that much in years (with what Naruto always hounding for his attention), has gotten them both down to their boxer briefs while _carrying_ Naruto _backwards_ towards his bedroom. It’s even more impressive when Kakashi shoves a hand under his pillows first, then the bedside drawer trying to find something that Naruto does not care about because the hollow at Kakashi’s throat just beckons to him and is absorbing the entirety of his short attention span—

When it hits him, Naruto immediately sits up, almost head butting the other man.

“I don’t think you have any!”

Kakashi’s bare face, as Naruto has seen, is quite expressive. Right now? He looked extremely smug, like a cat with a canary, as he slowly pulled out a bottle.

“Oh,” Naruto says, dazed.

“I bought it yesterday.” Kakashi replies. He keeps the bottle beside the single pillow, and then looks up at Naruto. “You’re hesitant.”

“Um,” _I sure fucking am._

“Did,” The older man worries his lips then takes a deep breath. Naruto can clearly see the stiffness in those broad shoulders, acquired within a few moments. “Did I do something wrong?”

Naruto blanched at the idea and immediately crossed his arms, “No! You’re perfect. What do you mean? You didn’t do anything, I swear. I am just nervous.”

“Oh, for my memory loss?” Kakashi asks, not quite sold on the idea that he didn’t do anything wrong. In these few years one thing was clear to Naruto: Kakashi is extremely guilt-ridden. However, at this very moment, he didn’t know the right response. What was he supposed to say?

“Well, technically, yes.” Naruto responds a little lowly, staring hard at the green blankets occupying the single bed.

“Naruto?” Kakashi calls him softly but the younger jounin doesn’t look back. “Please, look at me.”

After moments when he turns his head up, the look on the older jounin’s face strikes an arrow through his chest. Kakashi was pale, and his skin indeed looked flushed after their activity but instead of appearing alluring, his face resembled a sort of hollow frustration. 

“Do you remember what I said when you bought me back from the hospital?” Kakashi asked. His voice has a hint of something that Naruto can’t decipher.

“You said a lot of things,”

“I remember saying that the loss of my memory doesn’t change anything.”

Naruto fiddled with the blanket, eyes still staring right ahead. “Yeah. Yeah, you did.”

“That means…” Kakashi took a shuddering breath. “I am, _still,_ in love with you.”

The words break off a distant wall in Naruto’s mind and something inside his chest shatters. He knows that he should feel happy, powerful, and _magical_ even but all he can muster up is a watery smile and lets the water around his eyelids free fall. Gods, Naruto was such a _despicable **scum**_.

The tears must have alerted Kakashi because he immediately leaned forward with worry tracing each and every feature of his face. “Naruto—”

So he does the only thing he can figure out to salvage the situation. He kissed Kakashi.

Taken aback slightly, the older jounin looked at him with wide eyes while Naruto figured out that this is the first time he himself initiated an intimate contact. But the thoughts of intimacy weren’t in the fore front of his mind anymore, only murkier contemplation. So he hunkered down and pulled the man closer to smash their lips in an almost painfully kiss.

“Sorry,” Naruto whispers when he was done licking the cut on Kakashi’s lips. “I was scared, sorry…”

“Shh,” The flaxen haired man muttered equally, pale hands pulling the other closer.

Then.

Then everything goes out of control, turbulent and all Naruto could do was hold onto Kakashi’s neck as the other peppered his throat with bites and kisses. Long fingers trailed a golden abdomen, taking a hold of re-hardened cock and it felt _amazing_. 

It shouldn’t though, because Kakashi has already done this once but he isn’t so sure. Maybe it’s the way he looks at Naruto, like he’s trying to take in every reaction, like he couldn’t bear to miss even the smallest gasp; or maybe it’s the way he has to shut his eyes every few stroke, as if he were about to lose it; maybe, again, it’s just the way he swirls his thumb around both their heads. Naruto comes, and it’s _ruinous_ , and mind-blowing, and embarrassingly fast. The moan that goes with it is embarrassingly loud, too. 

And then, while Naruto’s trying to remember how to breathe, it really starts. 

Kakashi runs his hand— still dripping with Naruto’s come— up and down his cock, and then uses his knees to spread the blonds’ legs further.

“Holy fu—nng….”

Naruto is not ashamed to admit that yes, he has a thing for Kakashi’s hands (who wouldn’t?) and might’ve fantasized about them a bit too much to be comfortable. However, having a slick long finger trudging closer and encircling his puckered hole wasn’t the same as his own hands. Could never be.

“Look at you…” Kakashi’s voice rumbled from the above and Naruto swore he sounded awestruck. He tried to say something, anything really, but all that initially came out was a garbled cry as a finger finally breached in to settle.

“I c-can take more,” Naruto urged throwing one hand over his head, lungs expanding with how hard he was breathing.

  
Kakashi nodded and silently added another finger. The burn wasn’t much, Naruto concluded, but he _needed_ more. The older nin slowly started stretching his fingers, moving around to find the bundle of nerve that will set off the half hard cock Naruto sported. Whimpering slightly the blond rotated his hips, tying to send a silent message.

  
“Oh,” the flaxen haired male exhaled. It took a few moments and Naruto, through his hazy vision, could track the changes real soon. The almost feral look that glinted off from the dark grey eyes made him shiver involuntarily and now…now the fingers were breaching into ass with an almost brutal pace. Naruto whined, hands moving around to clutch Kakashi’s shoulders in an iron grip, feeling like the world was tilting off its axis.

When Kakashi grinned, Naruto couldn’t control arching off the bed with a shrill cry that made his vocal chords hurt. It felt _so good_.

“More, more, more, please, ‘Kashi, please…Oh god, I can’t—”

Kakashi has aligned himself and pushed inside that first inch before Naruto can finish the sentence. He drops down, one hand by Naruto’s head to be able to press his mouth against his, while the other hand, the one Naruto came into not a minute ago, still sticky and messy is interlacing with Naruto’s bandaged fingers, the chakra arm.

  
Kakashi pushes further, and Naruto never stops being hard. Some time to adjust to Kakashi’s fucking size would be nice, but absolutely unnecessary, because his litany of “Naruto, Naruto, Naruto,” into his neck has him make the most superhuman effort to accommodate him, but something must have gone wrong because the moment he is fully sheathed, Kakashi jumps up and stares at him with disbelief.

“Y-you're, Oh, fuck.” Kakashi tries to talk around his panting, “You’re a virgin, why didn’t you say that?”

“Unf,” Is all Naruto could gather around to say intelligently. Kakashi shakes his head and with incredible effort tries to move away, which, _no fucking way_.

He maneuvers both of arms around the older man’s neck, forcing him to stay still in place as Naruto moved to accommodate the thick cock back inside. “I swear to the ramen gods, Kakashi, if you don’t fuck now, you won’t be having a dick anymore.”

Kakashi, stumped, opened his mouth a couple of time before finally giving into Naruto’s stubborn orders. “Fine, but you better be prepared.”

…And suddenly Kakashi’s cock hits _everything_ , every single spot inside Naruto. It takes him less than three thrusts to find _that_ angle. The right angle. Naruto clenches around Kakashi as the back of his head hits the pillow, and he lets himself sinks into the knife-sharp pleasure at the base of his belly.

  
“Can you come like this?” Kakashi exhales the words against Naruto’s cheek, and the speech pattern is all Kakashi but, there is a curl in his voice makes Naruto…it makes him…

  
“I—” _Can he come like what?_ Rammed into the mattress? Full until bursting? With this thing shaking, pulsating, radiating pleasure in the dead center of his mind?

  
“I wonder—” Kakashi is losing it, fucking harder and harder, his rhythm becoming erratic. “Can y-you come without me touching you?”

 _  
No_ , Naruto thinks. Not that he knows.

  
But the pressure is building is his balls, and he could live forever in this precise moment or die in this very moment, Kakashi everywhere inside and outside of him, and it’s not even about coming, really, except that it is, it’s solely about that, and it’s unstoppable, it’s humiliating, it’s an flood, and— _Yes_. Yes. Yes.

  
When he’s coherent again there is a sticky mess between them, and Kakashi is groaning something in Naruto’s ear.

* * *

  
  
He used to tell himself its fine.

  
Throughout the night, with Kakashi’s arm heavy around him, and in the early morning, in a lazy, sleep-laced attempt at sex that has them both regret the lack of lube, looking for friction first unhurriedly, then desperately; later, when Kakashi’s hair is sticking up on the side— _I am not adorable, Naruto_ —and under the shower, as the smell of eggs and soup seeps into the small bathroom. 

He used to that is.

  
Then he remembers Kakashi thinks that he loves Naruto.

_How does it feel to trick your most precious person into loving you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason I couldn't write this chapter within 3 weeks was THAT one paragraph wasn't right. It still isn't and I hate it. Guess which one tho
> 
> Also, All the incredible comments keep me going everyday. Thank you. 
> 
> My tumblr is eyethefluff. Shoot me a message, an ask or whatever if you want to talk about this fic or the cam boy au. Search under my fic tag to get a hold of all the things I will be posting after this story is complete. Can't wait to share that kindergarten story! Kirk_aint is my insta!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo what's this? A new chapter? so fast? Anyway, I hope i stabbed you guys with enough angsssst in the last chapter?

“You have to help me talk to Kakashi,”

_“Have to_ , _help me_ , and _talk to_. Three of my least favorite things in a sentence, Naruto.” Shikamaru doesn’t bother looking up from his…appallingly green salad. His mother is not with them in the kitchen but Naruto know she will tear his ears apart if Shikamaru even tries to throw it away. “About what?”

“Oh, just, the marriage thing?”

The young Nara glares at Naruto then leans back against the chair. “The marriage thing.”

“My and Kakashi’s, um,” He lowers his voice, although in the Nara compound it’s futile. “Chakra bonding.”

“Oh yes,” Shikamaru nods. “The bonding. These Hatake men, they come here, take our job, our wome—”

“I am being serious here!” Naruto hissed impatiently.

His friend leaned forward, “I am being serious too, you idiot. Why didn’t you tell him right away that the bond was nothing but a fluke? Now you have days worth of lies and—”

“We had sex.”

Shikamaru just gives a frustrated look.

“Last night,”

  
If Naruto wasn’t that worried he would’ve noticed how long the young man stood still with one hand over his eyes. Then he exhaled explosively.

  
“Naruto,” Shikamaru says when he re-emerges, and what worries him is that he sounds more drained than furious. Kind of like he did at the Academy, when Naruto tried to start a bonfire in their class room. “You do realize that this is sexual misconduct, right? This could be construed as you forcing him to be intimate with you under false pretense—”

“It’s not, he initiated it I swear!”

  
“Because he thinks you both are in a healthy, consensual relationship, moron!”

“No, you’re wrong.” Naruto shakes his head minutely. “He likes he, he said he _loves_ me. I mean, he liked me before but now I know he likes me more than just a friend, y’know? He is still the same Kakashi but I feel like…he is letting himself love me? Like something was stopping him, Like there was something that was holding him back and he only got over it in the last six months, and even though I know he didn’t, I get to reap it.” He turns to look around the kitchen, unseeing. When he talks again, his voice is subdued, a little more than a whisper, tears threatening to spill.

“W-what are the chances he never remembers?”

Shikamaru closes his eyes for a few moments before answering.

  
“I’ll pretend I never heard such an unethical question coming out of you, but seeing that it’s an incomplete seal that we don’t know rat shit about—it’s clearly hard for anyone to estimate. _But_ , listen closely, however high the chances might be, they are low enough that you absolutely _should_ care about the after effects.” He lets the words sink in before continuing, “My suggestion is telling him the truth. The longer it goes on, the more pissed he will be. And I _have seen_ him angry, Naruto.”

Naruto nods jerkily. “How should I tell him?”

  
Shikamaru just shrugs, getting back at his salads. “Just blurt it out and make sure there is nothing sharp lying around. Tie his hands for good measures, too.”

* * *

Here is the thing.

  
Naruto would have spilled the truth.

  
He surely would’ve, he wants to think.

  
If they hadn’t gotten the wrong mission details from Kiri, that is. And If Naruto wasn’t forced to face hostility on a relatively peaceful mission, with a genin team no less, and then, come back a week later with one child on his back when he went with three, notwithstanding their genin instructor. The thing is , Naruto could’ve handled this well if he wasn’t checking on the fucking perimeters. If he even left one kage bunshin with them. If…If…

If Naruto hadn’t walked back to _Kakashi’s apartment_ , wondering exactly how to deal with the situation and whether Sakura, or Sai, or maybe even Kiba, might be up for a round or two in the grounds, to find Kakashi there on the kitchen table. Reading whatever he needed to read to be the hokage, and diligently closing the books as soon as he sees Naruto stumbling inside with hollow eyes. Looking at Naruto with sorrow, and understanding, and patience, and love. He is then taking off both their clothes in that graceful, methodical way he has, holding Naruto tight under the water shower, and then, when they’re barely dry, fucking him deep, sweetly, allowing the blond to bury his face into the pillow and letting it all wash over him, though him, away from him. To let him cry, scream and thrash.

  
And to think of all those years spent beating each other up, when all Naruto has ever needed was a hard fucking.

Naruto might have told Kakashi, but really, _how_?

* * *

“How’s the shit show?”

Naruto’s pretty sure Sakura is an A class empath, or something along the line because how else did she sense Naruto grumbling under his blankets while eating spoonful of ice-creams really? But now that she came in, barging through the door like she usually does, it’s hardly unwelcomed.

  
“Shttier and Shitter.”

  
  
“What? Did he yell at you for messing up his place? Or did you forget to put the laundry in the correct basket. I swear he is nasty about that stuff, when you were away with Jiraya-sama, he had a flu and—”

“It’s not that…” He trails off, pulling the blankets closer and blearily eyeing the empty ice cream bowl.

  
Sakura bites her lips, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. Whatever she was thinking was decided within a split second, that he knows when he suddenly sees her face up close as the kunoichi crouched in-front of him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Naruto, don’t _nothing_ me.”

  
“We—uh, we did it,” Naruto lets it out. “Several times.”

He can feel her staring and of course she will hate him now, everything was a joke until now and—

“Duh.”

“What?” He whips to look at her. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I know _you_ —and I also know _him_. Of course you have had sex.”

The way she is taking the news makes Naruto feel all sorts of confused. “Well, he still thinks we are in a relationship.”

  
“Ah, that’s not ideal.”

“Right.”

  
“Of course, you could have explained the situation to him at the very beginning, when we all told you to—”

“Of course,” he mutters under his breath.

“—but that ship has kind of sailed, so…” 

  
Naruto wipes at his face. “What would you do if you were me?”

  
She laughs. “Oh, I could never put myself in this—”

“Right. But I am sure you know I am asking you for advice.”

She looks at him and smiles, impressed. “Very good. You get brownie points for that.”

This is not a funny situation, not in the least, but Sakura’s teasing has always been a bit a weak spot for Naruto. “Well, Sakura?”

She looks down for a moment then moves her hand to touch his thighs. “Listen…Naruto,”

“Are you finally hitting on me? Y’know, I am a taken man now.”

  
She ignores it and says, “I don’t think what you did was right, lying to him that is…”

  
He smiles at her, weak, “But?”

“He seems happy, more open.” Sakura nods to her own words then looks up with her startling green eyes. “And you too. You look…radiant. I don’t want anyone to take that away from you.”

“Yeah,” Naruto knows this, that Kakashi is happy. There is this thrum around his body whenever he is near the other—it’s like he can distinguish those emotions now, through his chakra and if Naruto concentrated enough he can feel a faint tug. Recognizing happiness within the copy-nin is as easy as feeling his own hunger and fatigue nowadays.

  
“You should consider that he might never remember,” Then she shakes her head and stands up. “But if he does…he isn’t going to like it. But—”

Sakura flops down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “There is this…you said there is a chakra bond. I don’t know much about them but I don’t think its breakable.”

Naruto sucks in a breath. “Right, which means if he remembers he will be stuck with someone who manipulated him and he will be hate—”

“That mean you will be stuck with him, someone who doesn’t trust you.” She pulled Naruto closer. “Come on, hate you? Kakashi isn’t the type to hate anyone, least of all you. Not as much as working through whatever issues you guys might have because you lied to him.”

Naruto does not reply because he knows Sakura isn’t wrong.

“Also if even he does remember, he won’t forget about these days. How it felt being with you,”

Naruto turns her words around in his head. “So what you’re saying is to just… wait? And see what happens?”

She shrugs. “Just putting it out there. If you tell anyone it was my advice, I’ll flatly deny it.”

He huffs out a silent laugh. “You love me, don’t you?”

“I tolerate you, there is a difference.”

“Nope, You looooove me!”

“Nope, we are just co-workers who tolerate each other.”

“We are the bestest of friends!”

“Fine,” Sakura concedes, mockingly. “But only because you’re saying so.”

When she gets up to walk out of the door, Naruto calls for her.

“Sakura.”

She takes a step back to look at him.

“I am happy for you, both of you.”

She just stares at him, blinking slowly, and crosses her arm on her chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  
He shrugs.

  
  
“Ok.” She’s almost out of the doors when he adds.

  
  
“Say hi to Hinata from me.”

  
She speeds up.

* * *

As it turns out, Kakashi doesn’t remember for weeks. 

And Naruto gives up on telling him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie so, A lot of people (I mean 12) started messaging me about my deleted fic, the cam boy au and I just wanna say that it's being rewritten with more plot! Don't worry, like at all. 
> 
> Anyway, please review and let me know if you liked this chapter. I love listening to you guys and its making me really happy. Last chapter was really stabby, huh? Well. More stabs to come. 
> 
> I am available on tumblr: eyethefluff. Search under #myfic to know about all the fics that's going to come this year from me. I am especially excited about the Kindergarten teacher Naruto au. ASK ME STUFFS you are curious about plox!  
> Instagram: Kirk_aint


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. We are almost near the 🔪 moments.

There’s a thought that was tinkering inside Naruto’s head for a while now, and with each passing day the notion starts hammering harder and harder. When it becomes clear that he was going to lose this game, again, he just dries the sweat off his forehead and lets the words spill out.

“Is it, like, weird for you?”

Kakashi catches the ball with his left feet, hands deep inside his pockets. He really didn’t look like he was enjoying the particular game. “The concept of adults running around with a ball and repeatedly trying to land a whimsical sort of goal does seem crazy to me—”

“No, not that, wait—you think football is crazy?”

“It’s somewhat fun, I guess.”

“You never played with your friends as a kid, did you?”

“I had other important stuff to do back then.”

“Yeah?” Naruto snorts. “Like what? Enlighten me.”

Kakashi kicked the ball straight into Naruto’s ‘imaginary’ goal. “…petting dogs,”

“Aw,” the younger jounin started cooing, which was inevitably making the copy nin blush tenfold. “Oh, I can just imagine a tiny Kakashi going haywire around puppies—”

“I miss the days when it was easy to shut you up,” Kakashi retorted.

“You’re just being grumpy! Fine, I will just ask Shika to play with me,” Naruto really, really wished he had anything to counter Kakashi’s raising eyebrows. The idea of Shikamaru playing any sorts of sports was downright hilarious.

The older jounin steps closer to Naruto, lifting his hand to gently tuck a blond lock behind one, quickly flushing, ear. The distance between them is weird—it’s magically closer than they ever stood voluntarily but still wide enough to not embarrass them in public. Naruto seriously wonders if this is the equivalent of doing it in public, for Kakashi at least.

“Naruto, I just like spending time with you. No matter how stupid the activity is.”

Naruto scowls. “Oh, so football is stupid now?”

Kakashi tilts his head. “Well, you didn’t like it when I said it’s crazy, did you?”

“I don’t—I wasn’t talking about football. Which is awesome by way, and not stupid or crazy. Anyway, I meant this thing-y between us?” He moves his hand back and forth between both of them. “The…chakra bond?”

“What about it?”

“Is it not weird? For you?”

“Why would it be…weird?” The way Kakashi pronounces the word ‘weird’, cautiously and slowly makes Naruto think of a child trying out a newly learned word.

“I mean,” Naruto tries to explain. “One day you just wake you and have to be bonded to me, because something clicked inside you, and you don’t even like know how we got here? That can’t be easy for you.”

It just can’t.

And yet.

It’s incredible how soft Kakashi’s hands are on his cheeks. More shocking, how addictive the effects are of that particular gentle hand, considering Naruto went through most of his life without it.

“It’s not weird.” He says, placing a kiss on Naruto's forehead (through the mask). “In fact, it’s easier than I expected.”

* * *

“Mirai’s Birthday is in 2 weeks,”

“Hmm,”

The sound rumbles pleasantly across Kakashi’s chest, where Naruto kept his head. They are both on Kakashi’s ugly couch, where Naruto is half lying across the other’s body and Kakashi is reading a book, leaning on the armrest. The book surely seems…book-ish to Naruto and looks as entertaining as counting grass. He peaked over once and found something like ‘ Concomitant’. Not his jam, really.

Naruto has a scroll on his lap, which he wasn’t reading.

“Guess how old?”

“I don’t have to guess, Naruto. It’s just been over four years—”

“Okay, fine, she is turning five.”

Kakashi didn’t lower his book but there was a shift of muscle.

“Guess what Shikamaru is getting her.”

“Hmm,” Naruto wonders if the lips pressing on his head are meant to be kissing. Maybe. “I don’t know.”

Naruto laughs. “What? You can’t guess what he’s getting her based on the color of the pacifier she has in the picture Shika carries around?”

“Did you just string around words to make it sound like a puzzle?” Kakashi chuckles now and the book closes. “A new set of kunai.”

“A kunai set. You think they are giving her a kunai set?”

Warm hands tangle with his hair, leaving a hot trail down Naruto’s spine. “Specialized shuriken blade?”

“Specialized Shuri—is that what you got when you were, like, five? Okay don’t answer that, it will make me sad.”

The hand that moved to grab his neck tightened marginally before relaxing, “I don’t remember having birthdays.”

Naruto turns around in Kakashi’s grasp, eyes filled with curiosity and pain. The heart that was slowly hammering inside his chest shuddered, like a stuck watch, before starting all over. He doesn’t know why Kakashi never really having a birthday affected him, when he knows that most of Konoha’s orphans didn’t even know when they were born. Perhaps, it’s because Naruto always tried to give him something, or spend time with the elusive nin during those lone-some days. Kakashi preferred to be holed up in his bedroom, and Naruto—even with his insistence of being pushy—knew that there are certain invisible boundaries that he shouldn’t cross.

He was thankfully away last week, on a short term guarding mission. Otherwise he might’ve pushed his way into those boundaries and everything would have crumbled. Naruto had later gifted the Bisuke key-chain without any usual flourish.

“We need to change that,” He says instead, a promise. Kakashi smiles languidly. “Anyway, try to think like a five year old girl.”

“She’s not five yet.” Kakashi counters.

“Yeah, fine. Let me give you a hint then, hm?”

“A doll?”

“She is scared of dolls and everyone knows that!” He flops against the other warm body again.

“I—”

“When we will have kids you’re going to be useless for birthday presents, aren’t you?”

“It’s not that important.”

Naruto snorts, then shivers when Kakashi’s nail drags a pattern on his hip bone. “Yeah, and what are the chances that I will  _ not _ throw the greatest birthday party for our kid?”

“Slight,” The smile on Kakashi’s face was wide enough to have dimples.

“Don’t worry, we have plenty of time.” Naruto grins owlishly, “Hopefully you didn’t knock me up yet.”

The older nin chokes on something, then he takes a heavy breath. The indulgent way he was looking at Naruto is still there. The chakra inside him thrives happily, like an over-excited puppy. This is…too fulfilling. “Naruto, I think you have a...misconception  .”

Naruto gasps, a hand over his heart. “What do you mean?”

“Come on now,”

“So we haven’t been doing it twice a day so I can get a genius bun in my oven? To shower them in love and kunais and shurikens?”

“I am sorry,”

“You better be. I might file for a divorce.”

“Under the grounds of false pretense and  _ coercing _ you to have sex with me? Maa, sounds like we need to break our chakra bond.”

Naruto is still grinning and it takes a while, a long while, for the words to seep into his thick skull and even then it’s still like a pinprick. A precipice of something much darker.

“Wait, you can’t…you can’t actually break it, can you?” 

Kakashi shifted minutely before saying, “I find it hard to believe I didn’t explain about it already.”

Naruto wills himself to relax; least of all Kakashi gets the memo of him being severely distressed. “Not everyone has an eidetic memory like you,”

“When you said that Shikamaru explained it to you, did I not do it for you earlier? Did we jump—”

“Don’t try to distract me. Can it be broken?”

Kakashi looks at him, indiscernible. “Yes.”

The words were barely a whisper, spoken softly as if it wanted to soften the blow. Yet that single word crashed into Naruto as if it were a storm, like his name. The question that plummet his stomach finally merges the answer coherently.

Why was he not informed about the chakra bond?

_ Because Kakashi always meant to have it broken, anyway. _

Because he never  _ wanted _ this.

Wanted  _ Naruto _ .

“Did you get into a relationship with me without knowing the bond could be broken?” Kakashi eyed him worriedly.

Naruto gulped, shaking his head. “I—”

Kakashi sits up fully, “I can feel you’re upset, let me just—”

“How?”

“…How what?”

“How can it be broken?”

“I-I am not familiar, with how it’s done—”

“Then, how?”

“A trained psychological healer must be present, preferably someone with Hyuga bloodline. It takes time.”

Naruto stays quiet as his mind connects the dots. Surely, in the past few months, Kakashi hasn’t been visiting any particular hospitals. Even if the bond is to be broken, it will take time and Naruto would know.

Fuck.

Sakura said…but it was obvious she didn’t know much about it. Even Shikamaru had to round up the Suna library to get even a tickle of information on chakra bonding—Damn secretive clans and…

_ God. _

“Promise me something.”

“Naruto—”

“Please,”

The older nin’s eyes are searching, “Naruto,”

“Promise me that no matter what, you will…you will discuss it with me before you break the bond.”

Kakashi stays silent, uncomprehending. “I would never—”

“Do I have your word?”

When he finally speaks, his eyes have softened and his voice mimicked a soft wind south. “Yes. You can have anything you wish from me.”

“Good,” Naruto chokes around a sob. “Because I want everything.”

And before anything else could happen, they were kissing as if starved. Naruto pushes Kakashi and pins him to the armrest, one hand grabbing the soft silver hair and plunging into the surprisingly pliant mouth. Kakashi understood him like this, the need heavily gnawing at his skin like overpowered chakra, the need to bite, to mark and  **_claim_ ** .

There is no space between them, no conscious thought but instinct, Naruto won’t move away, won’t give him time to breath. He will take everything Kakashi offered and never let go. Even if, even if he… _ Never _ .

He pushed a hand past the loose draw strings, scratching the quivering belly and Kakashi let out a soft gasp that sounded awfully like music. When he finally closes his hand around the already stiff cock, there is a premonition—he savors the difference between their size, the soft slippery head and how Kakashi is  _ always _ hard for him—that leaves him drooling with more want.

And Kakashi, Kakashi always loses a bit of patience, his laid back nature, with Naruto’s hands on him. He was putty, barely a decent image of a traditional strong jounin—with one hand holding the back of the couch and the other a fist over his mouth, hiding half of his flushed face.

Naruto truly enjoys this, letting his hand be controlled by his inhumane instinct. Lets the dirty, truthful and dangerous words roll out his tongue like warm honey.

“You like this, don’t you?” A slight turn of his wrist, his thumb lingering on a sensitive spot, and Kakashi’s hips are arching up a little desperately, with barely a trace of his usual grace. “You want me to take control, want me to turn you into a senseless puddle, bound to the bed. Only for me to use.”

It’s too filthy, too nasty and for that even Naruto is surprised. He never dared imagine what it would be like, to say these things, it wasn’t his style but now…now Kakashi was whining lowly, eyes glazed and mouth pink with too many bites. The words are driving him out, making him fall from the tall pedestal of poise and Naruto wants to give Kakashi this thing every fucking day.

“Please, Naruto…”

There is nothing better than watching Kakashi come apart.

In less than a moment, when the older finally closes his eyes, nose scrunching up as if he is trying so hard not to let go but Naruto won’t have that. “You’re gonna make a mess, you look so fucked, god, I want to use your mouth—”

He comes in his pants just as Kakashi does, spilling his seed everywhere between the two of them. After that, as Kakashi breaths heavily—body convulsing due to the over stimulation—Naruto brings him down with chaste kisses, on his high cheekbone and eyelids and hopes that everything is going to be alright.

The alternative cannot happen.

* * *

In a jumble of different schedules and work, a week goes by without much of a glance. When Tsunade called for them, asking Kakashi to confirm a tentative date for the inauguration ceremony, the older nin was just a hair's breadth away from Naruto. Sakura hadn't really reacted much, unlike Sai's imploring gaze and Baa-chan's occasional twitches. And Naruto...Naruto was too comfortable to move away, too in love, too happy not to press back against the solid chest that belonged to his team captain. 

Perhaps he shouldn't have. 

(Because in the ninja world, Words travel faster than lighting ever could. That's why a few days later he gets a congratulatory letter from Garaa who gave his blessings in short, crisp words. And a bottle of  _ specially scented Suna lube _ .)

Kakashi failed to give any definite answer, again, and to save him from the temper of the fifth (who was about to throw her table at the flaxen haired nin), Naruto had grabbed his hands and pulled him away from the office and into a broom closet. 

(The rest is very sinful history.)

(Yes, Kakashi readily agreed that October 5th was a nice day for the inauguration. No, Naruto's newly acquired  _ aural _ skills had nothing to do with that. 

Well. Maybe.) 

So what was Naruto doing in-front of Iruka-sensei's house at midnight precisely?

Shortest answer: Damage control. 

Naruto knocks softly, then jumps back when he hears the thunderous noises inside. His head was a mess, heart jumping out of the cave in his chest. 

Iruka opens the door with a disgruntled face. "Oh, so you finally have the time to visit me?" 

Naruto looks down. "I'm sorry. A lot was going on." 

"Come in, Naruto." The soft man says with a sigh. He motions him inside and closes the door once Naruto starts taking off his shoes. 

The house is awfully silent. Naruto gulps around an invisible tension and follows the chunin towards his kitchen. "I just finished dinner, want some tea?"

"Yeah, I guess I will." Naruto doesn't exactly like tea but he felt like he could indulge the other. And perhaps let himself think about it. 

Iruka had the pots prepared already, he always drank something warm before going to bed. This habit Iruka once tried to instill in Naruto but it obviously failed like the cooking lessons. 

Naruto shifted in his chair half expecting the man to yell at him. He knows that Iruka  _ knows  _ now. Or so Shino said. 

"So," he started hesitantly as a cup was placed in front of him.

"So," Iruka parrots back, taking his seat. 

"I was really busy this week. There were a lot of guarding missions suddenly, you have heard of the revolution taking place near Kawa borders right?" Naruto took neutral grounds. Small talks. 

The man took a sip of his tea pretty calmly. "Yes I have, it's not news. Time of peace is very tricky." 

"Uh yeah. Baa-chan doesn't want to send me to any more diplomatic missions, as Kakashi is on medical leave. Oh, is the news of Rokudaime's inauguration out?"

"No," Iruka replies. "But let's talk about your ex-genin instructor,  _ shall we _ ?"

Oh god. Naruto is so fucked. "What do you wanna know?"

"Let's see… " Iruka tilts his head. "How about you start with how I had to find out from my  _ tiny _ students that the esteemed war hero was  _ kissing _ one, famous Copy nin at the children's park?" 

Naruto paled but also had to argue."That's misconstrued! I remember only kissing his cheeks." 

"Oh?" Iruka closed his eyes as he took another sip. "Why were you kissing his cheeks?"

The jinchuruki floundered, hands shooting up in different directions. "Friendly affection? You used to kiss my cheeks too, yanno…" 

"When you were like 10, sure. Also Kakashi allowed you to give him a  _ friendly kiss _ in public?" 

"We are quite close, you see." Naruto started shaking his legs. "It's… a h-habit. A thing between us, yeah! You know. Personal joke." 

"Hm, sure. I believe you." Iruka cocked his head again, eyes going straight to Naruto's neck. "What's that on your neck?"

He jumped up in panic, standing straight to avoid the curious eyes his ex-teacher had. Then he flushed, remembering how exactly he got it and what _they_ were _going_ to do before he came to visit his old teacher. Iruka, despite being a chunin, had been briefly in anbu. There was no way he didn't know Naruto was spewing more bullshit than Obito had back during the war. 

"That's  _ not _ a hickey! I swear sensei, it's just. It's just a mosquito bite, yeah you know how these pesky shits are. It's definitely not a  **_hickey_ ** ! Believe it!" 

"I never said that it was a hickey." Iruka said pointedly. "What's the matter, Naruto? why are you looking so… flushed?" 

"Um, well. It's. I don't know. I um," Naruto really didn't know what he was supposed to say. Is this a good place to say what was actually going on between Kakashi and him? He should've tied Iruka-sensei up beforehand, because Kakashi's life is in grave,  _ grave _ danger. 

Suddenly the man before him started laughing. Naruto stopped with his nervous babble to stare confusedly: had Iruka finally lost it? 

"Hey," Naruto mutters after a while, when it became clear the other man wouldn't stop screeching like a banshee. 

"I'm—I'm so sorry, you are still so bad at lying." Iruka finally says, rubbing at his eye. "I was just messing with you."

Naruto, although slightly relieved, puffed up his cheeks like an indignant child— acting much younger than he was. "Everyone's been doing that lately." 

"I mean, I'm still angry that you didn't tell me. That I had to find out from  _ Anko _ , of all people." 

"Sorry, I guess I deserved that." Naruto rubs his head. "Also, tell that witch to stop gossiping, alright?" 

"I already did." the man chuckled warmly. "Seriously, Naruto. Only you can get into situations like these."

Naruto doesn't dignify that statement with a reply when he sits down, but he says: "I'm not… I am not that bad at lying." 

He hopes Iruka understands what he is refusing to voice out. When Naruto finally looked up, the other man was watching him with a warm familiarity. "You have grown up a lot and I didn't even realise. I have been seeing you as something to protect for so long, like a tiny little brother...It's jarring, how mature you are now."

Naruto choked as he felt the pinprick of tears beside his eyes. "Guess war does that to you." 

Iruka pushes the refilled teacup towards Naruto as they settle into a comfortable silence. 

"Isn't it weird, to you?" Naruto asks after sometime. "I mean, the whole age thing."

"Is it weird to  _ you _ ?" Iruka counters. "There are couples with bigger age gaps in this village alone. So no, it's not weird."

"No—that's not what I meant. I mean, are you Okay with this? You don't particularly like Kakashi…" 

"To be honest, Naruto, I was worried you would've ended up with someone you didn't love just because of all the pressure of being a war hero and what not." Iruka sighs minutely. "At least you didn't end up with Sasuke," 

"Hah," Naruto makes a weird sort of noise at that. "...Sure?"

The chunin smiles, which Naruto counters with a full blown grin. He was honestly really grateful. 

"So," Iruka says with a weird sort of calmness. "Is he  _ that _ good in bed?" 

Naruto chokes on a mouthful of hot tea. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Im honestly baffled that none of you pointed out the two different spelling of "shittier" in the last chap 😂 
> 
> Question: did you receive notifications on email about the update? 
> 
> Also! I *love* detailed reviews soo much. Please talk to me instagram: kirk_aint or send asks on eyethefluff! 👀 pls I am desperate for asks xD 
> 
> My new fb is Whirlpool milestogo! It has Naruto pfp


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rally sorry for the late update. My house was flooding after a cyclone. We are okay now but the chapter isn't edited.

The inauguration ceremony was to be held on a warm October morning, three days before Naruto's 20th birthday. Konoha was bustling more than usual and most of the active shinobis were taken off the roster, given a short leave, so they can rejuvenate and watch the crowning of the Rokudaime. On such a busy day, Naruto spits out his ramen as he stared at what Sai held. 

Naruto had noticed this once, with awe of course, how many... _crazy_ fans kakashi exactly had. So he really shouldn't be surprised that there is an indigenous magazine related to every interaction the copy nin ever had with anyone, accompanying an in-depth analysis. Currently the first page of the magazine sported Naruto, his arm slung around Kakashi's waist too _intimately_ as the older man continued to read the tiny orange book. It was extravagantly titled as, 'just a teacher and his beloved student or is it more erotic than it seems? Find out if the war hero sleeps his way up to the top in page 25!' 

Now Naruto should be more angry about it, perhaps stomp around the village to give an impression that he was, indeed, Kushina's child but that idea was cut short by the appearance of a very familiar chakra. 

The pull was almost distinguishable, different from the chakra bond, as it flowed in a sense of urgency inside his veins. Naruto turned around with gusto, scaring an old civilian lady, and started running towards his destination: training ground 8. His lungs were awfully constricted with anticipation, and happiness maybe. Naruto still didn’t know.

The howling chakra inside him was tamed when he reached the grassy field, sweating in October heat.

“Sasuke,” Naruto says hoarsely, bound by feelings of comradeship and string of destiny.

The man in question stood with lips twitching, to resemble a caricature of a smile perhaps, and his good arm rose to inspect a mark on the tree. “Naruto.”

“Welcome back.” The jinchuriki replied with a smile. “Are you here for Hokage’s inauguration?”

Sasuke nodded minutely then flopped down by the tree’s roots. “Maybe,”

Naruto grinned before he took his place beside the Uchiha. “Keep acting like that and people will think you actually care.”

Sasuke didn’t say anything as he turned his head, eyes boring into Naruto. “I heard that you and Kakashi are a thing now.”

“What?” the blond man squeaked. Gossip sure travels fast, and he needs to talk with the new hokage about this. “It’s nothing like that…well.”

The man still didn’t react and this thing…this complete nonchalance had scared Naruto quite a few times. As a teenager, he could get a rise out of the dark haired boy whenever he tried hard enough, but when the war ended—and everything that went on with their respective lives—Sasuke ended up being nothing but a shell of a human being. He still cared about his close people and often expressed his gratefulness to those who stuck by him, and yet Naruto had the inkling that Sasuke still didn’t forgive himself. He had heard from many travelers that the dark haired man kept to himself and often survived on bare minimum.

There had been days when Naruto was confused about his feelings, whether what he felt for Sasuke was platonic or otherwise, and the fog inside his mind almost believed it to be true. Unfortunately or fortunately, the war had distracted him.

“You smell like him.”

“No-way, we didn’t even have time for sex this week!” Naruto accidentally slipped up in outrage. When he finally realized what he said, his face had turned an interesting shade of red. “Uh…”

“Hn.” Sasuke closed his eyes. “The cat’s out of the bag.”

“Okay, Okay, fine.” The young jounin grumbled. “Just don’t lecture me. I am happy, he seems happy and I won’t hear any objection--”

“I am glad.” Sasuke interrupted. “I am glad that you didn’t wait for…me.”

“Huh?” Naruto looked back, confused. “What are you talking about?”

Sasuke appeared a little out of place. “Last time when I came back, Kakashi said…Never mind.”

“Never mind, what? What were you going to say, Bastard?”

“It’s nothing important.” Sasuke stood up just as abruptly.

“Hey—wait a minute,” Naruto jumped to follow the other.

“I didn’t report back to the current hokage yet,” The Uchiha said simply. “I will talk to you later.”

“Oh,” Naruto exhaled, dumbfound.

“I—” Whatever Sasuke was going to say gets stuck. The Uchiha shook his head, then reached somewhere inside his cloak. Naruto watched as a small, brown box was thrust into his face.

“Wha--”

“For your birthday.”

Sasuke was gone even before Naruto could get a proper hold on the mysterious box. 

* * *

“You look like you ate something sweet.”

Kakashi pauses while folding the white robe, eyes tired and body hunched. In the dark, Naruto can barely see his face.

“Did I wake you?”

Naruto shakes his head; a lazy grin spreads across his face. Kakashi’s bed was way softer than his, and even with how lightly he slept nowadays (courtesy of the war), it pulled him into a lull and Naruto didn’t even realize his breathing had evened out.

He shifts as minutely as he can when the bed dips and then suddenly there is a warm presence embracing his body. It was October, the day of inauguration, and the stifling heat had the waiting spectators rushing to a cool shade when everything ended. There was a small festival after, which Naruto purposely attended as a third wheel to Sakura and Hinata’s non-date. When the day blended into a dark evening, the heat was still there— but the ice cream shops had closed down a while ago and the crowds dispersed.

Naruto didn’t have a clue why he walked into Kakashi’s apartment after that: he just had an itch to be there and wait for the man to come back. He also didn’t know when he fell asleep exactly but was fortunate enough to wake up when the older man finally decided to show up. Even in this unsavory weather, Naruto didn’t mind the arms that pulled him forward, and a chin that gently sat over his head. They were awfully close and his mind felt calm. There was this thing, the way Kakashi took him into his arms, which was sweet and soft—and perhaps, greedy because Kakashi  _ never _ overindulged.

Naruto had fallen in love with a lazy, uncompromising and sealed off Kakashi but he didn’t at all mind the unguarded Kakashi, who was to his surprise, a romantic sap.

“How’s the village, Hokage-sama?” Naruto murmurs into a solid chest.

Kakashi’ fingers are moving along his spine. “I didn’t accidentally start a war, yet.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow, “Is the bar that low?”

“That’s all you said I should avoid before I handed the hat to you.”

“True, I guess it will be my fault if you sold off those secret clan scrolls to Kiri. You didn’t though, right?” He yawns and it’s a long, stretchy business. By the time he finally looks at Kakashi the man was already staring at his face with such a sweet gaze that Naruto felt momentarily paralyzed with affection. 

  
In the past four years, Naruto has spent more time than he wants to admit wondering what Kakashi thinks of him.  _ If _ he thinks of him, anyway. He still does, even now that they are… yeah. And then, then he’ll catch the older man with  _ that _ in his eyes, and he’ll feel like a moron. 

  
Ridiculous.

“Well, I went to the festival and lost all my savings while playing poker. I think we have to forget about that big garden we planned on.”

“How sad, how will we ever survive?”

Naruto is still rubbing his face on Kakashi’s neck like a content cat. “Oh, I kissed Sakura today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it was a dare but I did it mostly to push them together, ya know making Hinata jealous.”

“Did it work?” Kakashi’s voice is a drowsy grumble now and Naruto knows he is preparing to sleep. The day had been long and so will be the next day for their current leader.

“Hah, no. They were just being so stupid. I was this close to spilling everything but Sakura kept throwing me  _ these _ glares every now and then.” He taps Kakashi’ sternum, feeling the heartbeat go slower “You know the one which looks a lot like Baa-chan’s.”

“Hmm…”

“Your body is so cold.”

“It’s within normal temperature.”

“I know. It’s so cool that we are so different.” The chakra around his heart tugs, and fizzles with contentment that Naruto knows isn’t just his own. “I miss you when we aren’t together.”

Naruto yawns again and feels his eyes drooping. He is almost unconscious when he hears it.

“Naruto, you have no idea.”

* * *

On a dizzy afternoon, Naruto buys two lunchboxes from the brand new shop right at the corner of the fish market. The owner was a frail lady who survived three long wars and came out to be livelier. Osaka-san was kind and childish—Naruto liked to talk with her, sometimes even over the counter as the other customers waited.

The boxes weren’t specially made but one of them had salt -broiled  saury with miso. He didn’t find any eggplants today, unfortunately, but he knew that Kakashi would just fondly have it nevertheless.

He reached the tower in record time, even though he was leisurely skipping like a lovesick fool. Yes, Naruto is very mature.

But then…

“Naruto-kun!”

The voice clicked something familiar, and yet distant. Naruto turned around, skeptically, when he finally saw the smiling face. “Hanare-san?”

“Yes, yes.” Hanare nodded excitedly. She had casually draped around a shawl, even in the heat, and her hands suddenly launched at his face to squeeze his cheeks. “My, you have grown a lot, Naruto. I have heard so much about you.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess.” Naruto exhaled stiffly. A low fire burned inside his belly. It wasn’t Kurama; the fox was still in hibernation.

“Are you here to meet Kaka—I mean, Hokage-sama too?” She asked.

Naruto gulped, holding up both the lunchboxes. “I  _ always _ bring him lunch, when I have time.”

She giggled; lose hair falling over her face. “Of course, I was being stupid. You’re probably his apprentice now. He always makes you bring him lunch? He’s such a slave driver…”

The jinchuriki gritted his teeth but smiled. “Yeah.”

They walked side by side as the beautiful women continued to babble, and since she didn’t know much about Naruto the unusual quietness of him didn’t seem to bother her. The ANBU at the door stared at Hanare, then back at Naruto.

“She’s with me.” He confirmed.

If someone asked Naruto about Kakashi’s work ethics it would’ve been something along the line of ‘Super smart’ and ‘lazy’. Maybe even compare the Nara’s with them—but he would never say that Kakashi was unorganized.

Yet, when they both entered the Rokudaime’s office the first thing that Naruto noticed (and kept on noticing) was how…haphazardly the documents and scrolls kept flying around. Iruka was probably scheming ways to assassinate Kakashi.

“Naruto, thank god. I missed breakfast today.” Kakashi moaned, like an intimidating Hokage. His face was down, smashed on the desk.

Hanare started laughing. Naruto didn’t interject, or couldn’t really— because even her fucking laugh was gorgeous. Perhaps her snores were cute too.

“Hanare.” Kakashi says with a warm voice.

“Hokage-sama.” Hanare replies with a breath taking smile. “Congratulation.”

Naruto coughed. “Yeah, I bought saury for lunch. Sorry, Hanare-san, I didn’t expect you to be here.”

Naruto fucking hopes his voice wasn’t cracking.

“It’s fine, Naruto-kun.” Hanare replies distractedly as she moved forward towards Kakashi’s desk. Naruto’s heart kept clenching painfully. “Your letter was kind of late this month, you know?”

“Maa, it was?” Kakashi’s eyes were closed into tiny crescents. The younger man tried really hard to ignore the conversation in front of him as he placed one of the lunch boxes on a paper towel.

“You said—” The kunoichi starts. Something moves across her face, too fast for Naruto to catch. “Can we talk alone for a moment?”

Now, Naruto might not be the brightest in the room but he knew exactly that he wanted him out of there. A hokage is never alone, that the women (who used to be a spy) should know by now. That only leaves one interpretation.

“Naruto—” Kakashi starts, eyes raised.

“I have to meet up with Sakura, see you. Hanare-san,  _ Hokage-sama _ .”

Naruto was this close to losing his mind, this close to pointing his fingers at her to  _ back the fuck off _ . Or worse, start crying. Admittedly, Naruto never really had a control over his water works but this was a matter of dignity. He turned around with his own lunch with a heart that kept hurting.

“Naruto.” Kakashi calls out softly as the younger man was about to open the door.

_ Don’t turn around. _

“Y-yeah?” He crocks out.

“I am going to be late tonight, you’re making dinner right? Don’t feel bad if you fall asleep again.”

_ There _ .

He turned around. “I am not your house-wife.”

Kakashi shrugged as Hanare kept looking at them with curiosity. “No, but you’re a cute house-husband.”

Naruto, forgetting his earlier anger and pain, flushed. “Yeah, shut it. Pray that I don’t burn the house down.”

“I have the fire station on speed dial.” The older man countered with a smile.

“Oh,” Hanare exhaled.

Yes,  _ Oh _ .

  
Kakashi didn’t hide that they were living together now, or were…almost married. Something inside Naruto laughs with glee, as if he won a battle. Sort of.

* * *

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s this?”

Kakashi pauses with whatever he was doing with…books to give Naruto a blank stare. The blond was currently thumping around the large bed Kakashi has gotten with the Hokage house benefits, holding a nondescript brown box.

“What’s what?”

Naruto narrows his eyes. He wasn’t fooled. The bond has been thriving throughout the day, fizzling around his hard with sharp anticipation.

“This package. What is it?” He tries to sound more curious than suspicious.

“Maa, if there was only a way to find out.” 

He gave Kakashi the dirtiest look he could muster and then tore into the package with gusto. Now, Naruto was not good with gift. At receiving them to be particular. He can easily give but taking his fair share….he missed something in his formative years.

Which is…

He has been dreaming about this particular stone plant for months—years if you want to be technical, and the only person who got one of these was Kiba because daimyo’s daughter liked Akamaru. And Kakashi is looking so fucking smug and pleased without even moving a muscle on his face and Naruto should be grateful, should say thank you, but instead he asks: “How did you get it?”

“I bought it.”

“Right. You just casually bought a plant from stone which is not only like, a month away from here but so rare that  _ it can’t be purchased _ ?”

“Oh, really?”

“Kakashi.”

Kakashi turns back towards his huge books, deciding the conversation is over.

The older man is…amused. Right.

“Kakashi. Where did you get it?”

“Perhaps I am more resourceful than you thought?”

“Did you—did you  _ steal _ it from Kiba?”

The amusement ramps up. “Naruto.”

“Did you grow it yourself?”

“In my abundant spare time?”

“Did you have to kill one?”

“Now, you’re being overly dramatic.”

“Well! You’re being overly mysterious then.”

“Perhaps you should use your energy to do something else.” Kakashi says as he closes the books. He takes three, four, five step and then he leans down, directly in front of Naruto’s pouting face. A pale hand lifts to examine the fluffed out cheek, pinching it harshly.

“I barely know anything about plants.” Naruto watches Kakashi take the pot from his hands. “ I will need some help if you want to grow your dream garden.”

They plow, clean and water the medium size yard Kakashi got with the house until late evening and until Naruto was satisfied with the humidity of the air to finally plant the roots of the stone rarity.  It’s not as good as sex. 

It’s better. 

* * *

Kakashi doesn’t remembers with a bang,

There is no dramatic reveal, like one of those soap operas, or even how it happens in icha-icha.

It’s Hatake Kakashi. Of course he will remember in a cool, laid back style.

It’s late at night and he is in the office with Sasuke, Shikamaru and a few other ninjas. They are collectively deciding if they should haul their asses to Suna border to pursue an arms smuggler or just wait until their information gatherer brings in more detail.

“They look like regular smugglers to me. I didn’t find anything I was hoping for.” Sasuke says. He didn’t seem that keen on the idea.

Naruto can relate but on the other hand, their patterns look pretty similar to the ones they encountered some months ago. “This seems pretty much the same as the ones we chased last year. You were on the team, remember Shikamaru?”

“It’s not.” Kakashi intones. “The one we followed in December was intercepted in Kumo, that too in February. We had a conference meeting with all the Kage’s on it. If anything, these people are smuggling more than just arms.”

Naruto nods gravely. There was rise in human trafficking in areas affected by the fourth war, even with the constant help from neighboring villages. “Alright, we will go and keep a close eye. Shikamaru can plan for us, in-case we are right.”

And.

That’s it.

Except, after a few minutes when he is cracking his stiff neck while listening to Shikamaru’s drawl on about why the mission might be potentially S-rank, he remembers that the arms smuggler thing happened last year and they submitted a half ass report on it, where an eight hours chase turned into an hour of half-hearted attempt. So even if Kakashi read the mission details he couldn’t have known the  _ exact _ details unless he…

Unless…

He turns around at the same time as Kakashi, and maybe it’s the bond or his freakish peripheral vision but their eyes meet and suddenly there is loud, sharp  _ sorry _ that’s ringing though his head—and Kakashi kept on looking as if this is the first time he has seen Naruto.

Kakashi drops his eyes back towards the paper at his desk and Naruto remains standing in front of their tactician and other team members. The hours painfully dragged on but he was barely there.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> scream at me at my tumblr: eyethefluff


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I hate this chapter suxx

The meeting ended like every pre-mission meeting should. Shikamaru had rushed out the moment he finished with his speech while Sasuke kept glancing at both Naruto and Kakashi until he was dismissed.

Then.

Then there was just silence.

Naruto didn’t dare look up. He wasn’t ready to face the turmoil he was sure to find. Once, halfway through the meeting, he had turned around only to come face to face with hollow eyes.

He wanted the warmth back in them.

Kakashi clicked his tongue. “Naruto…”

Naruto didn’t reply as he stepped forward. A silent plea.

Kakashi was…He can’t really feel what Kakashi was going through. The bond that tugged his own gently over the days that had passed was quiet now. It’s as if the older man had decided to retreat and…and It was lonely. 

When he took the final step forward something, something ugly and dirty started to crawl back into him. It was burning, as it flooded his system and planted itself in the centre of Naruto’s mind. It flourishes like a trumpet, fed by panic, exhaustion and maybe, maybe desperation.

Naruto wasn’t great with confrontation aimed at him. Neither was he with emotion. But he was seldom livid. There was nothing but the desk between them when the ugly reptile reared its head.

Should he be ashamed of this? When Kakashi’s happiness has been thrumming inside his body for weeks?

Should he apologize for reaching out and taking after being denied any sort of affection for years?

“Why?”

The bond is quiet. It’s empty. There is nothing, nothing. **Nothing**

Kakashi’s face is impassable and voice neutral, like of a leader and not a friend. Lover. It pumps up Naruto’s anger.

“Oh, you mean why you haven’t told me about this fucking _bond_ between us?” He is loud with his accusation, and talked in a way he never had with the other man.

Kakashi looked startled. “Naruto, you lied—”

“No, Kakashi. You lied. You’re the one who lied first!” Naruto’s voice is a screaming whisper, hands slammed on the desk, eyes watery. “You lied about sticking something up my chakra, like a marriage for example!”

“Naruto—”

“Seems a pretty gross mistake for someone who wrote a fucking report because a poison vial went missing.”

“I—”

“But that’s exactly how you are. Taking your sweet time communicating your damn emotions.”

Naruto could go on for hours about everything. About wanting, the heartache, and not having. About crying, and screaming, and pains in his body and heart, about how he would roam about trying to find a glimpse of silver. To talk, about anything, just for a fraction of attention and god damn it about how Kakashi kept entertaining him. He has the words, the scenarios and the ammunition. He needs to let out…except…

Kakashi isn’t yelling back. He isn’t punching him in the face or leaving the room so Naruto can wallow in his anger. He isn’t throwing Naruto that disgusted look, no. He is just looking down, eyes closed and hands shaking. It’s…

It’s not what Naruto wants.

The anger dissipates just as it brews, replaced with sadness and guilt.

“I—I am sorry,” Naruto’s voice cracks as he reaches out. “I just--I didn’t mean to—I am s-sorry, please, I just,”

Kakashi moves away from his touch. “You have it wrong, I-I am sorry too. But…”

Naruto flinches as he moves back. Of course. “I understand.”

“You do?”

Naruto nods, or tries to. “I will accept any punishment you will have planned out for me.”

The older man seems constipated. “Naruto—”

“Just please. Let me know when you plan to break the bond.” 

Naruto is already walking towards the open window, ready to leap out. He had a mission to leave for in three hours.

“You have it wrong.” Kakashi repeated again like a broken record. “I—I never wanted it to…”

“You never wanted to bond? That’s not new, Kakashi.” Naruto wondered if the space between them increased because suddenly the bond inside his soul was howling, desperate. He gritted his teeth. “Later, Hokage-sama.”

He didn’t wait anymore.

\-------

The team left at six sharp. Totsuku was their decoy, Kiri their medic while Sasuke and Naruto had damage control duties. Traditionally, A team captain would’ve been selected but since all of them were Tokubetsu jounin and working under the Hokage’s direct orders, the team was regarded as an ‘one time’ entity—except Sasuke and Naruto that is.

Naruto wasn’t in the right mindset. He tried, he really did—and meditation helped only to an extent of calming him down so he can employ sage mode. The emotional entanglement inside still felt heavy and distracting. He was fortunate that Sasuke didn’t comment on it.

The trip to sand would take around four days, with three hours of rest each day. Then they would meet up with their informant from water, plan further and send back missives to the village. Currently the mission was only to observe the cartel but Naruto knew that was just a pretense.

Sometimes he wished Kurama wasn’t hibernating. The fox could’ve at least laughed at his misery if nothing else and rile Naruto up enough to forget about his heavy heart. With a quiet sigh the young jinchuriki shook his head. It wasn’t ideal; he needs to concentrate lest he falls face down from the trees. 

His teammates didn’t really seem bothered by Naruto’s unusual quietness—or that he let the Uchiha map their journey instead of interjecting with his own views. Sasuke however kept a close watch at his back, silent eyes poring directly into his soul and the red string of destiny tugging at him with questions. Naruto still didn’t budge.

They reached water on the second day at noon, without any trouble. Kiri looked a little put off by this.

“I feel like we are missing something…” they said, putting down the travel bag.

“Huh, I am just glad we got in undedicated.” Totsuku said in his nasal voice. His eyes were closed when he lays down on the grass. “And we are early to boot.”

Naruto wasn’t listening to them when Sasuke poked him in the ribs. He squealed uselessly and then shot at a glare at the other man.

“What’s eating you, bastard?”

“Naruto and I are going on a perimeter check. I trust you both to set up the camp and wait for our mole.” Sasuke says, ignoring Naruto’s confused glare.

The Uchiha then motioned him to follow, jumping on a nearby tree. Naruto might be stupid but he wasn’t naïve.

“Tell me what’s eating you instead.” Sasuke’s voiced out when they were at a safer distance.

“Nothing.” Naruto avoided directly looking at the other.

“Naruto.”

“…”

“Sakura told me about Kakashi’s amnesia.”

“Wha—” Naruto stopped, almost slipping off a branch. “What’s the point of asking if you already know?”

“I know what?” Sasuke asked. He stood tall and looked genuinely curious. Naruto took a deep breath; yep he needed to sit down for this.

“If you know that Kakashi was falsely under the assumption of being in a relationship with me then you should also know that he suddenly remembered every intricate detail last night.” Naruto informed in one go, eyes downcast as he folded his legs.

“During the briefing, I assume.” Sasuke was looking far off. “How’d he react?”

“He didn’t.”

This was true. Kakashi didn’t react, or couldn’t. He didn’t get angry, he didn’t shout, he didn’t punch Naruto and he certainly didn’t look happy either.

“You fucked up, moron.” Sasuke says the truth plainly without any inflection of cruelty. It riled up the blond haired jounin nevertheless.

“Yeah and what's new, Sasuke?” Naruto spitted. “I know I fucked up but that doesn’t help the situation. I know I am scum for what I did, you don’t need to rub it—”

“You don’t believe you’re wrong.”

Naruto stops talking and blinks at the raven. “What?”

“If you really think you’re at fault then you wouldn’t be this angry, you wouldn’t have left with us.” Sasuke’s words stung. “You know, I am not going to mince words. Are you trying to make him come for you?”

“What? Are you implying I am…manipulating him?” Naruto breathed. He felt his heart was beating too loud, and too irregularly. He needed to meditate soon.

“I believe you’re _manipulating_ yourself and Kakashi is just a collateral damage.”

That.

Why was Naruto so angry about what Kakashi did? And what _exactly_ did he do? Nothing to warrant that behavior from Naruto. He was perfectly the ideal “big-brother” that Naruto needed and still needs—in his infancy, desperation and dependency the younger man had fallen for the kindness. In-fact he is the nuisance here that is bringing Kakashi so much pain. The man had rolled over and never once complained— and even after knowing the truth hadn’t gone out his way to reprimand Naruto.

And here Naruto who was wallowing in self pity, cursing the new hokage for making him feel _love_. Naruto really never understood what he was often gifted with.

“What should I do, Sasuke?” between the two of them, Sasuke was unfazed by the tremble in Naruto’s voice. He crouched down in one knee, pulling the blond closer by one arm.

“You listen to him. You let him talk.”

Naruto’s voice wasn’t the only shaky aspect; soon his hands started trembling as he clutched the other man’s cloak. “Will it be okay?”

“I don’t know, dobe.” The Uchiha sighed.

Naruto didn’t know how long they stayed like that, clutched into each other’s arm as he calmed himself down from an oncoming panic attack. Touching has usually never worked during these episodes but Sasuke’s scent bought a sense of familiarity. By the time they separated from the awkward hug, the sun had gone down.

“Between,” Sasuke pushed a folded of paper at his snot smeared face. “Kakashi told me to deliver this.”

Naruto barely caught the paper before Sasuke disappeared.   
-

Surprisingly, or not, their informer (a weirdly clumsy, bespectacled girl) couldn't give them much information on what was occurring in the Sand border, near the river country. 

"But people have been talking about disappearing children." She rubbed her nose. 

Naruto nodded as he eyed the scroll contents. It just has the basics of countries facing armed revolts. Bamboo and river were one of them. There was still no sign of their dealer. 

"Human trafficking?" Sasuke inquired. 

"There is… certainly something going on. I feel I need to observe more." 

Naruto objected. "Ah, we will handle it Ikkyu-san. You should report back to Hokage-sama instead." 

They left for the River-Sand border early that night, better to keep up the pace instead of losing precious time. The trees had gradually thinned after hours and even then Naruto felt something gnawing at his mind after the talk with their informer. 

"Don't you think something is off?" He asked Sasuke. 

"Other than Ikkyu-san being under a Genjutsu?" Sasuke replied without breaking a stride. 

"What? Why would you keep the information all by yourself?" Naruto was irritated. 

"it wasn't something special. All I gathered was her memories were erased." Sasuke mused. "An incomplete seal that acts like a genjutsu. It's somewhat a new technique among the rebels. Not that strong in my opinion." 

"An incom--" Naruto stopped. "Kiri. Go back to Konoha."

"What?" Kiri asked, balancing on the branch. The rest of the team stopped. 

"That wasn't the plan though." Totsuku grumbled  
. 

"The incomplete seal that works like a genjutsu. That's what hit Kakashi when we were coming back from Sand!" Naruto pointed. 

"So that's what caused the Amnesia." Sasuke whispered. "Naruto is right. One of us has to go back."

Kiri nodded. "Aye, if that's true--"

Suddenly a new Chakra surrounded them. Naruto jumped into Sage mode before feeling a familiarity. 

The sun rose just as Hinata appeared, haggled. "Naruto--" 

He felt ill. "What's going on?"

"The cartels in the borders were m-merely a decoy, Naruto…" She took a shaky breath. "There was an attempt on Hokage-sama's life. He is under critical care. I'm so sorry." 

Naruto couldn't move. 

\---

_Naruto_

_I'm writing this in the hope that your heart still has a little space for the little old me. I hope you can forgive me one day._

_You're right. I lied to you. I am apologizing for that._

_But what I am asking for is more than this. I'm asking for forgiveness for forcing my body and emotions on you. The days we spent together are hazy in my memory . I don't perfectly remember much except initiating all our… sexual and romantic interaction. I cannot even imagine the spot I put you in. The fact that you had to endure your first time with an old pervert like me._

_I didn't lie when I said I love you, Naruto. Please forgive me._

_-Kakashi._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added another chapter because I felt the conflict couldn't just be contained within one. 
> 
> Scream at me at my tumblr: eyethefluff (I'll be waiting ╮(╯▽╰)╭ )


	10. final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking supporting me, especially all the friends i made! I am blessed to have you all. Hoping this ending isn't so bad.

The team, including Hinata, had reached Konoha within the next morning. TokusuKU and Kiri lagged behind. They had discovered the unconscious body of their informer ten yards from stream while they were rerouting to reach the village faster, Kiri decided to take care of her while Tokutsu stayed behind to guard. While all of this occurred, Naruto could barely process the surroundings. Inside, something felt off, something like a …a cliff end. Like his chakra was trying to force itself out.

He couldn’t even concentrate enough to get into sage mode.

Hinata kept him company; assuring him to move and drink water when needed while Sasuke led them. If it wasn’t for the two, Naruto would’ve had another panic attack without anyone to ground him.

The village was quiet when they landed in front of the gates; Naruto breathed a sigh of relief seeing Izumo on guard.

“Where’s he?” He asked gravelly, threatening to spill over any moment.

“Naruto…I think you should meet with Tsunade-sama first,” Izumo said, hesitant.

Naruto shook his head and walked forward, pushing the scarred jounin out of the way. There was no time to talk, no time to make reasons. He knew, from the bottom of his everything, he knew that Kakashi needed  _ him _ .

“Naru—”

“Izumo-san, I will report back to Tsunade-sama.” Hinata quipped with determination. Izumo nodded reluctantly as he slapped down the team’s name.

The evening light had gone out, putting a thick shroud of quietness in the market. On the left of the market was the red light district and usually around the time the place was bustling with business. However, today Naruto couldn’t see a single person sliding into one of the bars. A thick knot lodged itself in Naruto’s throat, he walked faster.

_ What happened? _

__

_ Is it that bad? _

__

A hand landed on his shoulder. “You need to calm down.”

“I am,” Naruto retorted. “I am calm.”

Sasuke removed his hand. “Really?”

“What the fuck do you want me to do?”

Sasuke didn’t buy into his anger, “Calm your mind, Naruto.”

It was too late when Naruto noticed the bubbly red chakra that surrounded his entire being. He used the kyuubi’s chakra, which can only mean that he had exhausted his own or it was too unstable.

But...he didn’t have time to control himself.

He stepped forward, putting a little bit of the red chakra onto his feet and jumped towards a rooftop. Sasuke refused to give him space and followed his trail without breaking a stride.

**_Naruto…_ **

Kyuubi’s voice was a grumble, rough like a sleepy creature when the sound finally filled the void inside the blonds’ head. Naruto didn’t want to acknowledge the presence, not now. He needed to be somewhere else.

****

**_Naruto, listen to me._ **

****

It was clearer now and within any moment kurama could pull him inside the mindscape, the jailer had given the fox that much power at least. So he cursed himself.

_ Not now, Kurama, not now _ . Please _. _

__

The fox huffed but refused to reply. As the sky slipped into indigo and the gates of the hospital came into clear view, the pull he felt towards the mindscape disappeared.

He didn’t notice the slurry of nurses that followed them, or the few that tried to stop him from barging where he knew Sakura would be.  _ There was no time, no time. _

__

“Naruto-kun, please, the—”

“No guests are allowed now, especially for Kakashi-sama, he—”

“He  **what** ?” Naruto, unknowingly, growled but it was clearly because there was simply  _ no time _ .

The nurse fumbled, ready to pass out any second. “H-He is I mean, Hokage-sama isn’t…”

“Naruto, Oh god.” Sakura’s worried voice overpowered the commotion.

“Sakura, where is he, what—”

Sakura, beautiful and hard working Sakura looked so hazed and broken that it brought back the nausea Naruto tried to suppress so much. She was trembling and didn’t at all care that her eyes were puffy. “I am trying, we are trying so hard—I swear, don’t worry, okay? H-he will be fine. I will make it alright.”

Naruto walked like he was drowning—and he indeed was, black swirling around his vision. “Where is he, Sakura-chan?”

“Kakashi-sama has been in the emergency unit since yesterday, He…He isn’t able to wake up. Or breathe without help.” Somewhere, along the way, Shizune had come out with a sad face. She clapped on Sakura’s back gently. “He isn’t getting better and at this rate…he might not make it if—Naruto!”

The darkness increased little by little until all he could feel was  _ cold _ .

* * *

He woke up once, an hour later, the white ceiling looked back at him. He still felt tired, as if all his energy was getting used in mending something.

He falls asleep again.

* * *

He wakes up to voices, different and normal. They are murmuring about him and  _ him _ .

“It’s been just a day, Sasuke…”  _ Sakura _ .

“At least we are out of danger. To think the solution was that simple...”  _ Shikamaru _ .

“I wouldn’t have understood it myself if I hadn’t encountered that seal…”  _ Sasuke _ . “He’s waking up.”

“Huh, oh—hey.”

Naruto opened his eyes meekly to get a hold of his surroundings. He looked at Sasuke first, then Sakura and finally a disgruntled Shikamaru. He tried to sit up but the pink haired kunoichi was there to push him down.

“No, you’re still healing. God knows what’s going on with you both…”

“B-both?” Naruto coughed. “He’s okay right, where is—”

“Look at your right, idiot.” Shikamaru spoke up.

Naruto, not heeding Sakura’s warning, sat up too fast, trying to get a look at his right. There…

_ Kakashi _ .

He was disoriented, vision all hazy but there was no other way that chakra belonged to someone else. The long nose hidden under a sheet, the wild silver hair and the soft,  _ soft _ snore that Naruto had associated with Kakashi. He looked peaceful, notwithstanding his bandaged rib cages…but…yeah.  _ There was time _ .

A glass was silently presented to him and Naruto drank the water thankfully. Sakura was seriously psychic.

“So, what happened?”

Sakura gave Shikamaru a sidelong glance, probably asking him to speak up.

“A group of revolutionaries had teamed up with the desolate ninjas from the river, after the third war.” The Nara flicked up a cig, that was soon taken away by an Irritated medic nin. “Anyway, they were quiet with their operations until the news of the next possible Rokudaime candidate fired up. The Mizukage did send us a missive about rouges with seals of sorts just before you left.”

“The incomplete seals were fuinjutsu that activated genjutsu, or so Sasuke said?” Naruto inquired. “River country did have a hostile relationship with us.”

“Not after the fourth war, no.” Shikamaru pulled up a scroll from somewhere. “These people were specifically armed revolutionist and a few against the Hatake bloodline, because—”

“Because of Kakashi’s father.”

“Yes.” The tactician blinked. “The first seal that Hokage-sama encountered was the one that caused amnesia. It was a test seal, still incomplete.”

“We had guests from Bamboo, a meeting on agricultural trade with the new daimyo. You might know him, remember your first mission as a jounin? Late lord Shingou’s only son.”

Naruto narrowed his eyes.

“Their plan was to remove you and Sasuke from the village, the cartels around river were already there for distraction. But how did they know the Hokage will surely send both of you?”

“Ikkyu-san was under a genjutsu.”

“Yes, our informers were manipulated to give us the wrong information, making it S-ranked with a need for manpower, tactical or otherwise. “

Sakura took the lead this time around, “Their works with seals were impressive, we didn’t know what to do when the attack started. And that idiot…I mean Hokage-sama, took it upon himself to protect his anbus. Can you imagine?”

Naruto laughed weakly. “I can,”

Sakura smiled back. “They found the perfect opportunity to slap a seal on him that restricted Breathing, However, Hinata and Shikamaru were there in time and the attackers couldn’t complete the seal.” Something like pride lit up in her voice.

“The seals aren’t that impressive if they can be dispelled so easily.” Sasuke finally said. 

“Well, we didn’t know that it was  _ just _ a genjutsu. He might’ve died.” Sakura counters wholeheartedly. “But, yes, now that we know it’s just a weak genjutsu…”

“Where are the attackers?” Naruto asked. He looked back towards the other bed, just to make sure the older man didn’t disappear. “And why did I faint?”

“Fortunately for us, they didn’t realize so many seals were going to eat up their chakra. The rest was easy.” Shikamaru informed him with a yawn.

"Your chakra was unstable, as if it was searching for something. We had to Call in a Hyuuga medic." Sakura stopped, biting her lips. "We soon realized that Kakashi-sensei was in the same state and even after everything was over he wasn't healing...mentally." 

Naruto gulped. "He is okay now?"

"Yes, but still unconscious. The Hyuuga said we should keep both of you in close proximity to 'heal'. I don't know what that meant and even Tsunade-sama was unable to get anything out of that medic, he just said it was a private matter."

"Don't look at me like that!" Naruto replied to her curious gaze. "I don't know anything…" 

"Sorry," Sakura looked at him, sympathetic. "I heard what happened from Sasuke." 

"Yeah," Suddenly remembering his earlier predicament, the blond jounin felt like crying. "Thank you. I...thank you for saving him."

"You... " The kunoichi shook her head. "Just pay me back in sweets, you idiot. We will be leaving now to give you some time to rest...but  _ I will _ be back." 

With that Sakura motioned the others to move out. Naruto grinned at their retreating backs then laid down sideways--facing the only other occupant.

It was morning; he noticed the sun was still high up. From his place he could point out each and every abrasion on Kakashi's lean arm, could see the rise and fall of his chest and maybe,  _ maybe _ feel the cool skin. The saline dropped systematically, the heart monitor beeped without any hesitation. He had a lot to think about. 

But soon, he was lulled into a comfortable darkness. 

* * *

  
  


“Do you see?” Kuruma huffed. “There is no way I can take a leave, can I?”

  
  


Naruto followed the trail of silver chain, wrapped tightly around the tree under which Kurama resided. After the war ended, Naruto had taken it upon himself to change the scenery of the mindscape and now it was just a mountainous valley--much more welcoming than it previously was.

The light chain glowed, beckoning the blond to come closer. 

“Is that the chakra bond?” 

“I am surprised you don’t know yet.” 

“I mean, I know there is a bond...but I didn’t know…” Naruto mumbled, “...how it looked.”

Kuruma huffed again, swishing his large tail. “And?”

“It's beautiful.” When he finally touched the bond, the silk under his fingers quivered and so did Naruto’s heart. He felt happiness, just that...it was not  _ his own _ . 

  
“Idiot,  _ idiot  _ humans.” the fox said. “Can’t you see what that wolf brat did?” 

  
  


The bond swayed in the air and Naruto let it slip off. “What happened?”

Kuruma closed his eyes, as if he was not going to answer, but then after long moments he spoke up. “He was dying, and so was the bond.”

  
  


“It was...dying? I don’t understand.” 

  
  


“Kit, I have seen men and women fall to their demise due to a bond being cut so unexpectedly. The wolf brat was trying to...severe it and your chakra was suffering due to that. This?” The fox’s tail poked the tree. “The bond is as good as new, all your chakra was getting used up to repair this. You just didn’t let go.”

  
  


A thick object lodged inside his belly. “He wanted to sever it?” 

  
  


“Do not ask me why, you should rather talk to him.”

  
  


Naruto pursed his lips but didn't reply. Then he was being enveloped in warm red fur, and this time he knew he was going to have a peaceful sleep. 

* * *

The sound that woke him up first was a whisper of his name, then a fit of coughing. Naruto opened his eye quickly, ready to brace himself--what he found instead was Kakashi, crouching to his left and grimacing. 

“Why did you…” He jumped down his bed--knowing fully well that he should call for a nurse--and grabbed the sipper bottle Sakura had left behind. Slowly, he pushed the tip of the straw towards the older man’s lips.

  
  


Kakashi accepted the help without hesitation and chugged the water, throwing the straw away. From his own experience, Naruto knew staying unconscious for that long will cause some sort of dehydration but he pulled back the bottle so the man wouldn’t choke. “Hey, Hey, calm down. You cannot just drink all of it.”

  
  


The silver haired man was panting, still not looking directly at the other. “Naruto…”

  
  


“Why don’t you rest now? We will catch up later.”

  
  


“Why do I feel like the ‘catch up’ won’t happen?” 

  
  


Naruto pushed Kakashi slightly and when he moved, he sat down on the bed gingerly. “The attackers are caught, the village is safe.” 

  
  


“That’s...a relief.” Kakashi breathed. “Are you okay?”

  
  


Anger bubbled up inside and he wanted... _ no _ , he needs to listen. “Yes, are you sure you want to talk? You should take time to rest--”

  
  


“I want to talk.” there was determination in the older man’s voice. “No, I  _ need  _ to talk.” 

  
  


“Okay.” Naruto took a deep breath, then nodded. “You start.”

  
  


Kakashi’s determined face crumbled under Naruto’s stare, he turned his face and opted to look outside. “When you asked me if it was...weird that I couldn’t remember anything about our bond, it was because my--my affection for you at that very moment wasn’t at all different from what I felt for you months before my amnesia.”

  
  


“I am sorry,” Naruto gasped. “It was probably the bond--”

  
  


“It wasn’t the bond!” Kakashi looked at him now and for a split second there was something naked in his eyes, so vulnerable. “My feelings for you were there even before the bond, the  _ reason  _ the bond was created.”

  
  


Naruto blinked rapidly. 

  
  


Kakashi sighed. “I didn’t question the presence of the bond because it was a plausible thing. If I didn't already feel such a strong connection with you... If a...If a mere rut in the training ground could make me bond with you then by now I would be married to everyone I slept with.” 

  
“You looked disgusted.” Naruto confessed. “When we--when you--that day…”

  
  


“I was scared of ruining what we had,” Kakashi replied, steadily, as if he gave this a lot of thought. “I was a coward.I thought you were waiting for someone else.” 

  
  


“For Sasuke?” Naruto questioned. 

  
  


“I didn’t understand the gravity of my feelings for you until towards the end of last year, when Sasuke returned from his mission.” Kakashi made an aborted sign and Naruto silently handed him the bottle. “You were. You were always there with me and then Sasuke returned and you were... _ not _ .” 

  
  


“Wait, you were jealous? Jealous of Sasuke?” Naruto would give up his dream of being the hokage and his last living brain cell to understand what the older man’s expression meant. 

  
  


“I told him you were waiting for him.” The flush of embarrassment was clear on Kakashi’s face now, but there was something more that Naruto had to find. 

“Kakashi--”

“I think of you--” He licked his lips. “--constantly. I didn’t realize this was possible. Before you.”

Naruto kept staring, wide eyed. “Why did you try to break the bond then?”

  
  


Kakashi tried to back away, as if scared but Naruto needed to know. He moved fast and before the man could react, Naruto was straddling his lap. “Tell me, please.”

  
  


Kakashi looked stunned. “It was--never my intention to break the bond. The bond isn’t...it isn’t breakable.”

  
  


“That wasn’t the case, Kuruma said you were trying to break it.” Naruto countered, angry. 

  
  


“I--” Kakashi sighed. “...the chakra bond is both a gift and a curse. If your bonded individual died without severing the bond, you can...become unstable. Your chakra will try to fill the void space by bonding with anyone with the same affinity as mine. I tried, Naruto, I really did but  _ you  _ didn’t let me break it.” 

  
  


“Good.” Naruto nodded. “I won’t let you.”

  
  


Kakashi looked at him, alarmed. “What--”

  
  


“You didn’t force your affection on me, you didn’t force your body on me.” Naruto’s hand gently cupped the sharp jaw. “I am not in love with Sasuke.”

  
  


“Oh,” God, this man was such an idiot. “W-who then?” 

  
  


“It's you, Kakashi.” Naruto grinned, “I love you. I always have, even before you realized.” 

  
  


“Are...you sure?” The man was awestruck and yet skeptical. 

  
  


Naruto huffed. “You didn’t tell me about the bond because you thought I was going to force you to get rid of it, right?” 

  
  
  


“Naruto--”

  
  


“For four years Kakashi, for four years I have been trying to tell you but you...your thick head just wouldn’t get it.” Naruto laughed sardonically at this, “For years I kept wondering if you ever think of me, if you even  _ like  _ me. Everytime we had a honeypot mission, every time there was someone who you were close to...hell, even Hanare...I was just so, so  _ fucking  _ angry. I just--I just wanted you. You were always so kind to me…”

  
  


There were hands on his face, experimentally rubbing off the tears that he didn’t realize were flowing. “I am sorry for everything. I should’ve informed you, I didn’t lie when I said I love you too.” 

Naruto leaned down, pressing his face against Kakashi’s neck. “I can’t be sorry for this, for  _ your  _ happiness. For  _ my  _ happiness.”

  
“I should've been angry with you, but I couldn’t.”

  
  


Suddenly, a laugh bubbled out of the younger man. “I can’t believe you needed to get amnesia for this to happen.” 

  
  


Kakashi didn’t take offence as he carded his hands through Naruto’s hair. “It seems a little...planned.” 

  
  


“Shut up, asshole.” 

  
  


“Whatever you say, honey,” 

  
  


“You’re stuck with me now.” Naruto lifted his head, looking directly at the other. 

  
“Am I?” 

  
“Yes, you are very  _ very  _ stuck, Mister.” 

  
  


  
“Maa, am I ‘officially’ stuck?”

  
  


  
The words, although spoken casually, knocked the breath out of Naruto, “Only if you agree to have nine kids.”

  
  


“I will consider two.” 

  
  


“Eight.”

  
  


“Three, not more.”

  
  


“Seven, I can’t compromise that much. We already had to give up on our dream house.”

  
  


“Four. I am getting old.”

  
  


“Five, you have eight dogs so why can’t I have five kids?” 

  
  


“Fine,” Smooth hands slipped inside Naruto’s shirt, his face a few inches away from Kakashi. The emptiness inside him had filled considerably, happiness thumping from one wall to the other--the bond was finally alive. 

  
  


“Kakashi…” Naruto breathed and the feeling, this  _ dangerous  _ feeling, the headiness of love and hope and want. The fact that this is...going to be forever.  _ There was no other way.  _

  
  


Kakashi kisses him on the cheek--which,  _ wow _ , this is...this is it right? This was just so pure and awesome and Naruto is again tearing up. He pulls the man towards him, this time planting his lips squarely on the others in a caricature of a kiss. Then--

  
“Hey, I am ba--WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING? CAN YOU PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP? OH MY GOD--” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo the gift that Sasuke gave to Naruto was wedding rings ;))) guess where its gonna be used.
> 
> Thank you so much for enduring my frivolous updates and constant change in writing styles. This story means a lot to me and this is the first I am getting so much love! I love reading your thoughts s and every little review fills my heart, makes me want to write more. :) 
> 
> I am planning on 8 more KakNaru fic, at least 4 of them are going to be long :))))). I have SOO many ideas! Hope all of you will support me through my journey. 
> 
> I recently (as in just today) published a book, which I will be posting about in my tumblr so if any of you want a free copy just message me :D (Name: 'mother, i gave birth to an island' available on kindle uwu)
> 
> tumblr, you can find all my upcoming fic under hashtag 'my fic': Eyethefluff  
> Intsagram: Eyethefluff  
> editing: spo.cko 
> 
> just come and scream at me xD


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